Why Girls Should Ask Guys Out

I have always known my sister to be the type of person to go after what she wants.

I was talking to a female friend the other day who told me:

“I have been trying to send him signals but I don’t think he is getting them”

In my head, I was saying:

“Why don’t you ask him out without playing games?”

Now…

I have always aggressively chased after the boys that I’ve liked. When I was a kid, I would make it abundantly clear if I liked you. As an adult, my habits haven’t really changed.

But I have been surprised that many of my female friends are very reluctant to ask guys out. When I ask them about it, they have all kinds of excuses.

“Guys love the chase”

“I don’t think I can handle that kind of rejection”

So…

Ladies…

I have excellent reasons why you should ask the next guy out.

What’s the worst that could happen?
He says NO
So What?!!
Rejection is not the end of the world.
And.
That kind of pressure is something that guys face every single time they want to ask a girl out.
Time
I don’t know about you
But when I am crushing on someone, I waste so much time fantasizing about what their butt looks like.
Just ask the man out
Missed OpportunitiesPutting yourself out there and expressing your feeling is very vulnerable and scary.
It’s a hard thing to do.
But some guys are too shy ever to do that.
So, imagine all of the missed loves you never had because you were both too afraid to approach each other.
You’ll demonstrate self-confidence and assertiveness
By asking a guy out, you show you are self-confident and assertive, both qualities that are generally seen as healthy and attractive.
Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D is a Los Angeles-based psychologist, whose specialties include relationships. She shared with me, “For a guy to be asked out by a girl, he doesn’t have to wonder if she’s interested in him and his fear of rejection can be significantly decreased. As a result, he might feel more secure and comfortable in showing interest back to her and accepting her offer if he is interested in her. In addition, when a girl takes the initiative to ask a guy out, the girl is deliberately selecting someone that she knows she wants to go on a date with, rather than just being passive and hoping someone she likes will ask her out.”
It increases the odds of Mr. Right
If you choose to ask the guy out, it’s because you are interested in that person specifically. You’re drawn to him for a reason, and when you ask, it allows you to take control.
Paul DePompo, Pay.D., a board certified clinical psychologist, author and speaker who specializes in relationships, revealed to me that when you have control and ask a guy out, you are also taking control over what you are looking for and making it happen. That’s much better than the alternative.
“Often the kind of guys that is right for you is not the guy that swoops in and charmingly sweeps you off your feet. Too often than not — that is a narcissist and we all know how that ends … with a crash!”
It strengthens your confidence
Let’s face it, we all need a healthy dose of self-confidence. What better way than by going after what you want — whether it be a raise at your job or asking a guy out! DePompo continued, “Being the ‘initiator’ shows confidence. It takes MORE strength to be the initiator. This is an active role. Being pursued is a passive role. Society still pulls for women believing this is healthy — but it’s not — it’s just playing into a role.”
It fosters a true partnership
It’s rare for people today to be encouraged by the relationship their parents had. Perhaps they fought a lot, got divorced, or stayed married long after they should have. This means we have to do something different if we want a different result. DePompo reveals, “Fostering a true partnership means breaking out of roles and being equals. Not in a rigid way, but in a loving flexible way. Men want to be pursued as well and feel they are a ‘good catch’ as well. Starting a relationship off with this reciprocity can have to stand apart from the rest — no games, just being authentic you.”
It might make you happier
It sucks to be rejected. It really does. That’s why so many guys just won’t do the asking. Women can be intimidating to strangers.
CJ, CEO of LOV Inc, revealed to me, “If more women made the first move they would be happier. It would propel ladies into a plethora of new experiences. Women have nothing to fear, most men are nice. They will let you down easy if they have to let you down at all. When asked, most men prefer the woman to lead in the initial meeting. Smile and go after what you want in life.”
It gives you control
Asking a guy out can be empowering because it allows you to have more choice and control in the dating arena.
Jonathan Bennett, dating and relationship coach, founder of The Popular Man, and author of “Eleven Dating Mistakes Women Make (And How To Correct Them),” told me, “Rather than simply saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to guys who work up the courage to approach her, she can actually pursue men she finds attractive. The traditional method often leads women to wait around for a good man to ask them out while they fend off the aggressive creeps.”
Some guys are unsure
Jeremy Arnold, co-founder of Launch, a social dating app, tells me that a girl should absolutely ask out someone if she’s interested, because sometimes guys are often uncertain. “Every woman over 25 has a story about the adorable man who never asked. Well, we did ask. We wanted to know what chained their tongues. In most cases, it was uncertainty mixed with empathy. They didn’t want to cause embarrassment or ruin what was by asking, unsure if their feelings would be reciprocated. While not the most harmful gender role, the idea that women should be passive in dating has likely prevented the most otherwise ideal relationships from forming. Truth is, a surprising number of dateable people simply aren’t great at picking up on signals … They need to be asked, or at least told they can ask. (Men are asked infrequently enough that most will feel genuinely flattered even if they’re unavailable or uninterested.)”
Men love to be nurtured and supported
Audrey Hope, relationship expert, revealed to me that she’s been working with men on their love issues for many years, and thus she’s privy to their secrets. Unfortunately, women have it all wrong. They think that they know men, but they don’t.
“Men love women who nurture and support them, and who show them that they care. Men remember and hold those women who take a stand to love and be with them, close to their hearts. It does not matter how many years pass, men can recall in detail the girls and women who have made them feel good about themselves.”
This is the best reason for women to ask men out on a date. Take a chance. “Be daring and so full of confidence and self-love that there are no games. You can proudly say to the guy, ‘You are so special and I would love to go out on a date with you.’”
It’s a turn-on
Hope continues, “A woman who loves herself enough to go for what she wants is a real turn-on to a man. He will melt and never forget what you did.”
A girl asking a guy out on a date is a fantastic way for women in general to finally live in full power and be in the driver’s seat. “She can be feminine and strong, and land the guy! A win-win for all ladies!”