
I used to spend most of my time trying to convince people on Right to switch sides. At some point, I stopped wasting time with that, purely because there were too many issues on the Left. It was becoming hypocritical for me not to call it out.
What I say is still relevant to the Right wing of the political spectrum. But it equally applies to much of the Left. We’re not nearly as progressive as we like to believe…
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There was a time when I thought of men, or women, I’d think of my little corner of the US where it is predominantly white and heterosexual, but Queer friendly. Class disparity is difficult to determine, but there is a rural community where health inequalities and poverty certainly exist.
At some point, I became aware that my views on certain social issues lack the nuance of race and class and are perceived through a very specific lens. It was like a light turning on somewhere and illuminating a whole different sphere to my reality.
The language I used to explain the world became inadequate because my assessments were devoid of detail. I could no longer think what I think about men, without admitting I meant men with whom I typically interact: cis white men. Cis white men from rural backgrounds and descended from European settlers in our corner of America.
“All thoughts about social privilege would go out the window.”
Most of what I have to say about them, isn’t true of other groups of cis men and certainly not true of men whoaren’t cis. Any overlap is almost coincidental. What it is a weapon for cis-het men may well be a survival tactic for a cis gay man. The same likely goes for other marginalized groups.
It was my own positionality as a cis queer man that made me critical of the people around me on the Left. I’d witness long speeches totally devoid of nuance or understanding of intersectionality. Detailed narratives that excluded class, ability or religious background as relevant factors. Things that I just knew wasn’t true for myself nor many of the people labelled as typical boys or men but I knew to be something other than cis and/or straight.
I would encounter people who believed that someone wrong deserved to be mocked, ostracized and ultimately banished. All thoughts about social privilege would go out the window. There was a lot of good conversation about equality, but coinciding actions would rarely follow through on these good intentions.
“Heteronormativity knows no bounds.”
The cries of #allmen started to ostracize cis, mostly white gay men, who were in the unique position of being able to use their male privilege to rise above the homophobia they faced. As the Left became more hostile towards cis men, the Right seemed to make more sense to the “Good Gay” who could be accepted as a useful token. The safeness of the Left where all men are seen as equally harmful was compromised.
It seems to be going that way for trans men too. We sadly see tokens from all demographics making their home on the Right.
But many of us do stick around. We have little choice despite other groups of marginalized people feeling similarly critical of the Left. While our voting habits are unchanged, we tend to shy from Leftist activism and protests as it has become dominated by a mainstream liberal rhetoric.
It’s become a white performance stage. Leftist political groups and events become a venue for hunting mates and having “progressive” first dates rather than focusing on the social inequality that has brought them there. Heteronormativity knows no bounds.
“We’re meant to be better at that, no?”
The Left have become so used to their own echo chamber that they’ve stopped listening to anyone who challenges their perspectives. Even the people they claim to want to protect. The only way to get your average white Liberal to listen to anything but the sound of their own voice is by a realistic threat of ostracization. They basically have to believe they’ll lose followers to care about harm they are causing.
Sure, it’s the same on the Right too. It’s not like your average Conservative is known for their listening skills. But we’re meant to be better at that, no? And surely we should listen to the people on our team. Like the Indigenous woman pointing out why our perspective is lacking, or the trans man highlighting the prejudice in our statement.
We should be better than those we accuse of being blinded by their privilege. Especially when we know our views are colored by our experiences as cis, white heterosexual (passing) individuals in a world full of people like us. And that’s what any ally to marginalized groups will do first: recognize their own shortcomings before criticizing those of others.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Aiden Craver on Unsplash
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
