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Let me be clear from the start: I’m not doing this for likes or reels or to become that guy who turns his vacation into a TED Talk. But maybe someday I will give a TED Talk around this. I want to cycle from Leh to Khardung La for reasons that are, quite frankly, both logical and completely ridiculous.
It begins with breath. Or rather, the lack of it. Because when you’re at 18,380 feet, breathing is no longer something you do without thinking. It’s something you earn. And I want to be there, in that moment, negotiating for breath — not because I’m struggling, but because I chose to.
I want to cycle to Khardung La because it makes no sense to most people. And the best decisions in my life, I’ve realized, are the ones that made no sense at all to anyone except me. Cycling uphill for approximately 40 kilometers in thin air? It sounds like something only a very fit masochist or a deeply introspective weirdo would attempt. Lucky for me, I might be both.
Also: pain. Yes, pain. The good kind. The kind that isn’t caused by people or heartbreak or algorithms. But the kind that comes from your thighs screaming in revolt while your mind goes blissfully quiet. I want that pain. I miss it.
Because everything in my life right now feels like noise. Inbox noise. Overthinking noise. Ghosting noise. Gym playlist noise. And I think what I’m chasing isn’t the summit; it’s the silence that comes when your body is too tired to lie to you, and your mind is too focused to wander.
There is also a chance, though bleak, that something might shift up there. Not dramatically. Not in an Instagrammable way. But in the kind of way only I notice. Maybe it’s a thought. A memory. A release. Maybe it’s the moment I finally let go of things I have been dragging like emotional carry-ons.
And sure, some people will say, “Why not just take a cab?”
But they don’t get it. They have never needed a climb to forgive themselves.
And here’s the second thing: I have this strange, persistent knack for chasing things that put me right on the edge. The kind of pursuits that don’t come with a seatbelt or a safety net. I am, somehow, weirdly drawn to doing things that could very well lead to a broken bone, a philosophical breakthrough, or both. Every once in a while, I need to do something that could kill me, not for the thrill, but for the reminder that I am still alive. That is how I reboot my life. That is how I know I exist.
I’m going solo. No backup. No emergency crew. No friend with a GoPro. Just me, my cycle, and the cold, hard fact that if I pass out from the altitude, the mountain won’t even blink. It’s not personal. It’s just Ladakh.
They say the ride takes 6 to 8 hours to do the round trip. That’s roughly three to four Netflix movies, almost a cricket match, an average Spotify playlist, and a spiritual awakening. It will probably be the most thrilling, ridiculous, humbling 6 to 8 hours of my life.
And just when you think I am done: SURPRISE! I will also be running the Ladakh Half Marathon a few days after this ride. That’s right, I have packed two ways to nearly collapse into the same week. It’s like the universe dared me and I couldn’t say no.
So yes, I am going to cycle from Leh to Khardung La this September.
Because sometimes, to move forward, you have to go uphill. Because sometimes, clarity is found at 18,380 feet. Because sometimes, pushing your limits is the only way to find them. And because this time, I want the mountain to break me, and not people.
Day 99/100
Blue Tokai, Galleria
~ A
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Avinash Guruvayoor On Unsplash
