Instagram is the number one dating app in 2022.
I’m not saying to use it to slide into the DMs of women you don’t know — but you should ABSOLUTELY be swapping Instagram details with women you meet from traditional dating apps and in real life.
If you’re swapping phone numbers with these women instead, you’re putting yourself at a huge disadvantage.
Let’s explore why.
Why Instagram Trumps Phone Numbers
Instagram has all the messaging capabilities you get with a phone number
You can text, call, video call, send photos, videos and voice notes. Everything. There’s no serious downside to having a woman’s Instagram, provided she follows you.
She will follow you if she’s interested in getting to know you better, but you can always type your username into her phone first to be sure.
Women are more comfortable swapping Instagram details with strangers
If you only had ten minutes to speak to a woman, she might not feel comfortable giving you her phone number, but she usually will be happy to swap Instagram details. This is probably because she already has a ton of followers she doesn’t know.
Either way, if you have an attractive profile and she takes the time to browse it, she’s likely to be far more excited to reply to your message (compared to a guy she barely knows using SMS).
She gets to see your life story
You could meet a woman in real life, flirt for ten minutes and swap phone numbers. That’s great — but it’s often not enough time to convince her that you’re good enough to date. You might be — but she doesn’t know yet.
The thing is: a woman doesn’t need to take that risk on a guy she barely knows. Women are overwhelmed with romantic options these days (and social media is part of the reason why). But if you swap Instagram details, she gets to see your whole life story, curated by you to look as attractive as possible.
As you can imagine, that’s more than enough to make a woman excited to meet you.
You get to learn about her
A lot of guys get worried about being catfished on Tinder or not knowing what to talk about with a woman. Instagram solves these problems, because you’ll see the life story she’s curated too.
A great way to reignite a text conversation that’s died is to reply to one of her stories. These stories will also give you a great hint about when is a good time to text her. If she’s on holiday with her pals in Dubai, there’s no point. If she’s bored at home, go ahead!
Instagram keeps you on the forefront of her mind
Back in the day, when you swapped phone numbers, it was important to organise a date shortly afterwards. Otherwise, she’d begin to forget how much fun she had when she met you. But, if you’re popping up on her Instagram screen having fun every day, it keeps you on the forefront of her mind.
You can attract women passively
Of course, with phone numbers, you can text and call your romantic interest to stay on the forefront of her mind. When you do that, you have to worry about coming across as too desperate by messaging her too often.
On Instagram, that’s not a problem because you don’t always have to message her directly. Instead, you can post content for all of your followers, which she just happens to see. This doesn’t come across as desperate because there’s an accepted flexing culture on Instagram, plus you’re not posting just for her. For this reason, you can post everything you want your crush to know about you without it looking like you’re trying too hard.
It’s scalable
With a phone number, you’re just impressing one woman at a time. If you post attractive content on Instagram, you can potentially impress hundreds or thousands of women at a time.
By the way, this is how I keep all my romantic leads warm as I travel the world. Instead of texting all the women I meet individually, I occasionally post something cool to Instagram. They see it — and they remember me when I return to their country.
Young women are addicted to Instagram
In 2022, young women are absolutely hooked on social media. That’s awful for their mental health — but as single men we might as well take advantage of that by appearing where their eyes are glued for most of the day.
How To Create An Attractive Instagram Profile
Of course, the advantages above will only help you land more dates if you have an attractive Instagram profile.
So, let’s explore how to create one.
Post Your Most Attractive Photos
Yes, it helps if you’re good-looking. But, it’s not the end of the world if you’re not.
Either way, as a man, you want to pack your profile with photos that display your most attractive qualities and personality traits.
- Fun;
- Adventurous;
- Athletic;
- Funny;
- Intelligent;
- Leadership;
- Wealth;
- Cool hobbies;
- Great friends.
Essentially, you want to portray a lifestyle that a woman would want to be a part of. This will excite women far more than a profile packed with mirror selfies or snaps of you alone in some picturesque place.
By the way, you need your profile to make an INSTANT impact. The best way to do that is to archive all but your most attractive photos.
Be ruthless. Ask yourself: what attractive qualities does this photo show? If the answer is “none”, archive it.
Post Plenty Of Stories
Most women don’t like to make the first move by texting their crush first (or approaching them in the bar etc). However, plenty of women are comfortable reacting or replying to their crush’s Instagram stories.
By posting lots of stories, you keep yourself on the forefront of your followers’ minds. Plus, you extend plenty of olive branches for women to start a conversation with you. You can use the ‘Question’ or ‘Poll’ story features to make it even easier for them to engage with you.
Your stories don’t always have to include the most exciting and attractive activities.
- If you see something mildly amusing as you go about your day, film it and share your opinion.
- If you have an opinion on current events, share your opinion with the camera.
- Whenever you’re hanging out with friends (especially other women), take a quick video of you having fun with them.
- If you’re passionate about your work, post stories about that.
These ideas all give women an idea about what it would be like to date you, as well as potentially inspiring her to message you. And if all else fails, post funny memes.
The more stories you post, the better. Remember to save your best stories to your ‘Highlights’.
What To Write In Your Bio
You don’t have a lot of space here, so it’s best to use bullet points of 4–5 things that make you unique. Or you can use one catchy sentence that inspires people to learn more. My bio says: “I travel the world writing books and articles about how to be more awesome”.
You can also add a link for people who want to learn more about you. I link to my book ‘4 Weeks To Unstoppable Confidence’.
Your Excuses Not To Use Instagram: Debunked
“I don’t have time to use social media. I’m a busy guy.”
Uploading a photo should only take a few seconds. Uploading a few stories per day should take a matter of minutes. That’s all you have to do.
Also, when you post to Instagram, it actually saves you time because you’re essentially pinging hundreds of women at the same time.
It also saves you time because the women you’re messaging are more likely to meet you.
“Women are more likely to message you back on WhatsApp or iMessage.”
There’s no data to prove this either way.
However, it’s been my experience that a woman is just as likely to see your message on Instagram, provided she follows you back.
My hypothesis is: women are more likely to message you back when they see all this evidence you’re an awesome guy.
“Instagram is bad for your mental health.”
Social media can ruin your dopamine tolerance and harm your productivity levels. It can also destroy your self-esteem if you get sucked too deep into comparing yourself to other users.
I mentioned all these problems in my article titled: ‘Unfollow All Instagram Models Immediately’.
However, you’re only at risk when you consume social media. I’d recommend you only use Instagram to create content and send messages.
“Instagram is for narcissists.”
This is absolutely true.
Personally, I only use Instagram to message people. I don’t care about the likes, comments or followers. I only care about the women I’m pursuing seeing my content.
You can adopt this same non-narcissistic attitude.
“I don’t have enough followers.”
Yes, it helps to have a few thousand followers, especially if you’re sliding in the DMs or a woman you’ve never met. (I never try this, by the way).
However, it’s the content of your profile that’s important to most women.
Provided you have a couple of hundred followers, few women will look down on you.
If you do meet some woman who only cares about clout, she’s going to discover you don’t have it within minutes of talking to you — whether you swap IG or not.
“I don’t have any good photos. My lifestyle isn’t that great.”
This is the worst excuse of all.
You’re essentially saying: “I don’t want to give girls my Instagram because I don’t want her to see that my life sucks.”
So, basically you want to trick her into dating someone unexciting…
That’s pretty crummy…
If you have an interesting life, you can upload at least 9–12 photos for your potential partners to see.
If your life sucks, work on that! This will help you be more attractive to women. More importantly, it will help you enjoy your life!!
Social media isn’t going away any time soon, so it’s time to start using it to your advantage.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Kareya Saleh on Unsplash