Why Most Couples Fight Over Insignificant Topics

You might be side-eyeing your partner right now.

There is tension between the two of you because of some trivial activity one of you did. Or didn’t do when asked. You might not have fought about it before. But soon, the annoying habit got done one too many times.

Now you’re mad at your partner over an insignificant detail. Here’s how to prevent a repeat.

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Knowledge starts fights.

You overestimate how much you know.

Now, your man is correct. But you don’t want to apologize for snapping at him. It is not every day a man will be happy not hearing he is correct when he is right.

It is natural to value your point of view over others’ perspectives. But if you can’t accept defeat, try listening. Your partner is most likely seeing the topic from an angle different from yours.

In life, most people make correct assumptions and deductions about concepts. But, given the overload of information on the web. Both of you have different details on the matter.

Aim to respect the other person’s opinion.

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Overthinking is a potent fuel.

Have you ever dreaded a task only to spend less than 5-minutes completing it?

Do you ever notice how babies fight sleep because they think they will miss out on seeing some significant event?

That’s the level of overthinking that happens when you ask your man to take out the trash. Insert other frivolous chores here.

He thinks. If he steps away from what he is doing now, he will miss out on some great event. He may also believe doing the chore will take longer than he expects.

Now, you’re angry because you had to ask him 12 times. Plus, press down garbage that was floating over.

Ask when he is standing. Ask when he is in the area closest to the object. Forget gender-based roles and assign tasks to yourself and your partner. So, when they are around, the chore gets completed.

Photo by Frida Lannerström on Unsplash

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Why so much chatter?

A big fight starter is trauma.

Most hurt people aim to harm surrounding individuals when their emotions run high. Their actions and words do not reflect your values, self-worth, well-being, or mental state.

How you react to their behavior, however, speaks to what is happening inside your mind.

If you are around your partner when angry, comfort them with your preferred love language.

Silence is golden when they are angry and highly emotional.

Why not talk? You might enable them to voice statements they don’t mean. They wanted to say these hurtful words to their abuser, but could not. So, they say these harsh sentences around you.

Thank you for reading!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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