Why Not Me?

Hey. Have you been well?

No, I just called because I was curious.

Actually, no.

Not curious, exactly.

It’s just… something has been sitting with me for a long time.

It’s not a big deal.

Or maybe I want to pretend it isn’t.

But it’s something old. At least for me.

You liked me back then, didn’t you?

The truth is, I liked you too.

Back then, after I broke up with my boyfriend, I was such a mess. I kept leaning on you, telling you everything.

I’m really grateful that you stayed beside me.

I still remember that night when I got drunk and cried.

You asked me something then.

“Why not me?”

I still think about that.

It stayed with me.

I think I’ve been answering that question in my head ever since.

I told myself so many times that one day, I should tell you.

And I think now is finally the time.

Listen.

The reason I didn’t choose you back then was not because you weren’t enough.

That’s what I should have told you.

I was already carrying too much of my own unhappiness, and I didn’t have the strength to carry yours too.

It wasn’t that I disliked you.

It was me who wasn’t enough.

Not you.

You were warm to me.

You were good to me.

And maybe that’s why…

I think some part of me never really let it go.

You still show up in my dreams sometimes.

When I wake up, it leaves me feeling strange.

Like whatever we were is still frozen in the time when you liked me.

But that’s not right, is it?

Oh, don’t misunderstand me.

I’m doing well with my boyfriend now.

That’s why I wanted to say all this.

To let out what I had been carrying.

And to let you go too.

I’m not going to contact you anymore.

Texts, Instagram, everything — done.

Don’t be hurt by that.

I’ll say it one more time.

It was because of my unhappiness.

Not because there was anything lacking in you.

You’re a good person.

Good enough that I wanted to keep you beside me, even just as a friend.

And since I’m saying everything now…

That ex-girlfriend you had last time?

She was really not it.

You deserved so much better.

Meet someone better.

I really hope you live well.

Now that I’ve said all this, I don’t know why, but I kind of feel like laughing.

Happy birthday in advance.

I’ll hang up now.

Bye.

Written by Hana
© 2026