By talking stage, I mean communicating virtually before meeting in person
We are all glued to our phones, there’s no surprise there. Our dependency on these devices could be what is fundamentally wrong with modern dating.
The prolonged unnecessary back and forth before meeting your potential partner in person is getting adopted as a natural part of dating.
It shouldn’t be this way. If it is possible to meet them in person, there is no need to hide behind your phone.
It creates a false sense of intimacy
There was this girl I met on Instagram. We exchanged countless messages with each other over the months. We completely believed we knew each other.
We didn’t! The moment we decided to meet in person, all those messages we sent each other meant nothing. I had no idea who was sitting across from me and it didn’t end well.
It leads to very unhealthy idealizations
When you’re texting with someone and they tell you they are a doctor, they go to church every Sunday, and they enjoy activities you love, our minds start filling in the blanks.
Most of the time, it fills in the blanks with positive assumptions that may be wrong.
This is a superb recipe for disappointment.
The talking stage allows for unhealthy behaviors
Ghosting, Lying, false bravado, etc.
Virtual worlds make it easy to depersonalize from the people we are talking to. Without real-world consequences, there will be no real responsibilities to be had.
It fosters a lack of proper communication skills
When all your relationships happen on the phone, no progress would be made in developing skills that make you adept at communication — both verbally and otherwise.
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Face-to-face conversations are the only way genuine connections can be made. Get off your screen — we need to start dating in 3D again.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash
