With the remnants of this nasty election still lingering and third wave Feminism taking hold with odd demonstrations around the country, I can’t help but feel men are getting a bad rap on somewhat a daily basis. It’s becoming a bit of an epidemic and it needs to stop. I fear the message we are sending to our men in America. One that seems to only be getting louder, is the constant rhetoric of men being privileged and sexist and they just can’t seem to get it right with women. We are always disappointed. After all, we can just do it all ourselves anyway.
I thought equality meant equal rights for everyone? Shouldn’t equality include men too? If you simply look at the facts, men are suffering as well. That doesn’t mean I’m condoning bad behavior. No man should use force or manipulation on women. What I am saying is that labeling our men and spreading these hateful messages are very dangerous to the fabric of relationships and families.
In my experience most men are just looking to be appreciated for who they are and the contributions they can make to a partnership or any relationship. They value women and are happy to see us thrive. Isn’t about time we start telling our good men the positive value they bring to our lives?
To all of the wonderful men, I want to send this honest message:
As women we love you. We need you. You have been our protectors, our foundation, our calm.
I can’t do this life without you, nor do I want to. I need your kind words at the end of the day to stop my mind racing, I want your companionship that puts the humor in my day and takes the edge off my problems. I admire your perspective on the world, constantly challenging my thoughts. Your ability to work, travel, stay up late, get up early and show up every day in your ironed button down to work, looking fresh with a curious mind. Getting those bananas for us; every day. Holding doors, warming the car, carrying shit and packing more shit.
My daughter looks at you with a conscious mind. Always watching. Watching how you treat me. How you treat her. I can’t take the place of the example you are to her. Her grandfather, her uncle, her teacher, my friend, her cousin, her father. You will help shape her, you will help protect her. It’s in your DNA.
You have helped my career, given me tough advice, supported and stood by me when I had tears in my eyes. You showed me what it was like to deserve it all and go after it.
So, men don’t give up on us. We are just misguided by the lie that we can have it all without you. Why would we want to? You are just too important in the equation and your unique talents should be celebrated by everyone. I hope this is the message you choose to hear from us. Please hear it, because you are the good men and we need you.
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