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Friendzoned again, huh? You thought that you were being so nice to that girl you’ve fancied for 6 months but she still hasn’t taken the hint yet? Now she’s getting interested in some other guy and you’re getting desperate to show that you really care about her and want to be her boyfriend.
Does that sound familiar to you? Has this happened to you before? Don’t worry – you’re not alone. Many men are in the same position with girls right now and have no idea how to get out of it.
Perhaps you thought the best way to reach a girl’s heart was to be friends first, so that she can see that you’re not just some creepy guy who just wants to have sex with her, plus you don’t want her to think you’re some kind of “bad boy”, either – the kind of guy who wears a leather jacket and tattoos and slaps girls around and thinks that kind of behaviour is normal.
Well, your intentions are good but you are NOT getting the success you want with women because you have failed to understand FEMALE PSYCHOLOGY. In order to understand that, we need to go back to the prehistoric Stone Age.
Stone Age women had 3 basic needs that they expected men to provide –
1. Food
2. Babies
3. Safety
Some men she knew were hunter-gatherers who went out looking for food. Other men gave her babies to continue her DNA. Still, others organized themselves to keep the women and children of the tribe safe. So the 3 jobs of men were –
1. Provider
2. Procreator
3. Protector
Fast-forward to today, and today’s modern woman hasn’t changed much in her psychology since the Stone Age! However, these days the terms are different –
1. Friendzone
2. Loverzone
3. Protectorzone
Women still categorize men into these 3 basic types. So if you do stuff for her, listen to her problems, offer favors and make yourself available to her at all times and be a “nice guy”, she is going to put you in the friendzone – you are behaving like a provider in the Stone Age.
If you behave like you’re keeping her safe and protecting her from danger, she will treat you like a protector. Usually, protectors these days are often older guys whom she is not attracted to but who perform that role, such as police officers, firefighters, older, rich guys, you know, the “Daddy Warbucks” type of guy who offers her financial security and a nice place to live.
If you want to be her boyfriend, you need to imitate the behavior of the PROCREATOR. This guy needs to be a guy to whom she feels safe passing on her DNA. So he needs to be strong, not just in appearance or physical strength, but also someone who challenges her to live up to HIS standards, a LEADER who is SEXUALLY CONFIDENT and knows how to TURN HER ON and who thus can successfully mate with her. She will feel that he is a good choice because he knows his way around the bedroom, can prepare her body for making babies and has the attitudes that suggest he would be a good dad and role model to her children. So she will have sex with HIM.
If you think being the procreator is the best option and the other two types of men get a bit of a raw deal from women – think again. You see, actually, women are not all that thrilled by a guy who’s great in bed but can’t hold an intelligent conversation to save his life and is irresponsible about planning for the future. Similarly, she’s not impressed by the “provider” guy who is great at listening but is boring or shy in bed and isn’t confident enough to believe his future can be better. Neither is she amazed by some older guy who flashes his money around and has a fast car but talks so boringly about his job and is so-so in the bedroom.
So, as the friendzone guy, you are currently an excellent “provider” type. If you can develop the traits of one of the other types, that’s even better. However, the perfect guy for every girl, the “Mr. Right” that she’s secretly hoping for, is the guy who can hold down all three roles and do them all well. If you can provide, procreate and protect, great! You’re the man every woman wants!
So it’s time to start becoming the perfect man every woman wants and the guy you’ve always wanted to be, so that you can get a girl whom you can be proud to call your partner. If I know anything about women, she will definitely rise to your challenge and become the perfect girl you’ve always dreamed of having. I wish you every success in this stirring endeavor to become a better man and hope you can live the life of your dreams in the future!
Oliver Chapman is the author of “The Five Steps to Giving Your Woman the Best Sex She’s Ever Had”, a 70-page guide available on Amazon in both paperback and Kindle editions.
It can also be purchased on Createspace (Amazon’s independent publishing platform) at http://www.createspace.com/4982312
It can be downloaded as an e-book from Gumroad at http://www.gum.co/eAtgf
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This post was originally published by Medium and is republished with permission from the author.
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Image Credits: Pixabay