Question: My wife is constantly undermining me in front of our friends and family. She calls me names, she belittles me, and as you say, “takes away my power”. I have told her to stop but she doesn’t understand the issue. How can she be so blind? And how can she keep treating me like this?
Answer: My goodness, I can’t imagine how that consistent emasculation must feel! How humiliating and embarrassing to be called names in front of your friends and family. How destructive as you say, that she takes your power away. How frustrating that she doesn’t seem to understand even after you’ve told her to stop. How painful and exasperating.
I doubt this is a new behavior, yes? I imagine it’s been going on for quite some time, and I’m wondering what began it… Or if it’s always been like this between the two of you? Sometimes an unhealthy dynamic attracts us to somebody in the first place and the gift is that we finally get fed up of it… And we begin to do the inner work to change it.
Other times something happens that destroys respect and trust, and people don’t have the communication skills or courage to be vulnerable. They are passive aggressive instead of communicating with honor and truth and creating a positive change.
May I be straight great man? With your comment about her taking your power away… What if it was you who was giving your power away? When we think circumstances are bigger than us, all we can do is be the victim. But when we take responsibility and don’t judge ourselves, but tell the truth that we are letting people take our power, in fact we find we are giving our power away to them. That’s actually the first step in taking it back and becoming empowered.
My friend, this feels like a very deep wound if you have allowed your beloved to abuse you consistently like this. Perhaps she’s at her wits end and doesn’t know any other way to get your attention, I have no idea, I need to ask so many more questions.
Bottom line is that she will keep treating you like this until you draw a line in the sand and come together with her in couples counseling to change this.
Bottom line until you learn how to create a new deal between the two of you of respect and honor even when you’re scared or sad or mad… The abuse will continue.
This may be really tough to swallow, but there’s a part of you that loves this… Or you wouldn’t stay with her. You’d be gone. What is it that you’re getting out of it? What is the benefit to you? Why do you stay and put up with this? These are all very deep questions that I believe require counseling to heal and change while we develop healthier self-worth and effective Communication skills. I imagine both of your hearts are closed in protection or in anger and so there’s no intimacy or affection or kindness or tenderness present, yes? It’s time to start opening your hearts again with a veil of kindness to heal this dynamic.
You’ll almost be too late to enjoy my complementary relationship online workshop… But if you register today you will still have a chance to watch all of the complementary videos!! I really recommend you do so as the little me inside of your heart must be absolutely devastated… you will feel instant relief.
You can register right away at www.allanapratt.com/soul-shaking
Yet I’ll be honest, just watching the initial training will not be enough to create lasting change, I sense you’ll both need more. Too much water under the bridge, as they say.
I recommend that you apply for a complementary strategy session with me at www.allanapratt.com/connect
Ideally she would get on the call with me as well and I will see what’s possible… if the two of you are a 10 out of 10 committed to move forward and heal this now, it will be my privilege to invite you to work with me.
If she’s unwilling to going to counseling with you, you great man will still need to heal your emasculated heart, step into your masculine grandeur and invite her to treat you with respect and honor. So regardless, you require healing and coaching, yes?
And just so you know, in all transparency, part of what makes me the successful coach I am is that in my own life journey, I have not been that dissimilar to you… putting up with tremendous abuse, staying too long trying to understand WHY??? Now I’ve healed the little one inside my heart, I’ve found my feminine power but never lost my softness.
And now after a decade long custody battle, I have done the deep inner work of forgiveness and I get along with my son’s father again. Anything is possible my friend, and it would be a privilege and honor to show you the path.
If you truly desire to change this, I am the perfect partner for you.
Sending you so much love, Allana
p.s. Gentlemen…End the Fear of Rejection.
Enjoy your “How To Be A Noble Badass” Complementary Training at www.GetHerToSayYes.com
Ladies…Be irresistible. Feel sacred. Attract him now.
Enjoy your “Vulnerability is the New Sexy” Complementary Training at www.AllanaPratt.com