After reading this, it may be time to quit.
I am better at something than you. Before you take offense, let me explain. My skill is in an area that you may not value. You probably think what I am good at is actually a downfall. In fact, my skill makes heaps of good, solid people think I am a loser. You might think that as well, but don’t worry, you will be in great company when you hear what my super power is.
Ready?
I am GREAT at quitting!
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Seriously, you should see the ease and confidence with which I write a resignation letter. With a smile and a wink I can wad up and toss a virtual, month-long project in the digital trash without as much as a wince. I love giving certain projects my “two-day” notice. “Two-day” is my last day. (The joke goes over better when spoken.)
This is an area of pride for me, and has led to incredible success. Before you ban me from your sphere of influence, or stop your kids from reading my book, allow me to explain.
We’ve all heard the advice to “never give up.” Seeing things through to the end is widely accepted as a good practice and a respectable personality trait. There is even a very popular quote by a famous athlete that says,
“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place.
If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”
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Sounds great doesn’t it? It’s exactly what you would expect a world class athlete to say. Unfortunately, the advice is wrong, generalized and the reason some people miss out. The quote also came from notorious cheater, Lance Armstrong.
I can hear it now, “John, just because Lance Armstrong lied about doping doesn’t make the advice bad,” you say, somewhat irritated. And you’re right. Lance Armstrong’s poor choices don’t make the quote bad. It is reality that makes it bad.The truth is, never quitting is a bad personality trait. It is one of the traits that keeps battered spouses in abusive relationships. Have you ever heard, “We are going to stick it out and work through this,” from a close friend who deserves a better home life? How many toxic conversations at work have you listened to from an employee who is mistreated, undervalued, and unappreciated, but the employee stays because, “they aren’t a quitter?”
Quitting is not a character flaw. Quitting at the wrong time is. Quitting the wrong activity is. Knowing how and when to quit and feeling good about the choice is a sign of an incredibly mature person. It is so important that Seth Godin, (who has never lied once to me about doping) wrote an entire book on not only how and when to quit, but the benefits of a great quit.
We give people like athletes, singers and actors unprecedented influence over us, rarely questioning the gibberish that may come out of their mouth. And sometimes the star crumbles, but the advice stays, cemented into culture for generations. And, even though it was bad advice from the beginning, we over looked it because of its origin.
Where would some of our most beloved public figures be if they took the bad advice to stick things out, see things though and persevere?
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Brad Pitt would still be standing on corners, dancing in a chicken suit. Giorgio Armani would still be an assistant photographer, (okay, let’s face it, he would probably be a full-fledged photographer). Sandra Bullock quite possibly would have served them beers after work at her job waiting tables and tending bar, and Star Wars wouldn’t exist because George Lucas started out as assistant teacher.
No one would think of offering the advice to “never give up” to these icons looking back. But today we hand out that little nugget to anyone who will listen. The real advice is to never give up on things that matter. Our families matter, making change in the world matters, becoming better people matters, but the crummy job at the liquor store or staying committed to the crazy partner, not so much.
Hard work and perseverance are only good qualities when applied to the right thing. It is so imperative that we don’t make people feel ashamed, guilty or bad about quitting. Just as we shouldn’t make people feel bad about eating. Quitting well is a good quality, just like eating well. It is doing either poorly that becomes a problem.
And so I quit. I quit bad jobs, bad relationships, bad dinners and especially bad karaoke. I quit often, I quit early. And to prove my prowess and skill at quitting I will do something very public and open.
I quit writing this article.
Just have to point out one flaw in your discussion, though I like the discussion. When training on the bicycle, ones body goes through hell to keep pushing the pedal at the elite level, everything in your being cries out ‘stop!’ But to meet the days goals, to try to win the bike race you’re in, you can’t quiet. If one runs their first marathon, as I did, and my body wanted to quiet at the 20 mile mark, one has to force themself to keep going. Quoting is not an option if you want the reward of success. Having… Read more »