Most of us live life by rules we set, but sometimes we want to break them. Mike Iamele did just that at a recent wedding weekend.
Recently, I went to a wedding, and I broke all my rules. I drank alcohol. I stayed out way too late. Hell, I even ate a little gluten. For me, that’s a bender.
We were celebrating my college friend’s nuptials with the love of her life. It was the first time I’d see many of the guests in years. My life had changed quite dramatically since college. And apparently so had theirs.
An advertising executive flew in from Germany. A New York singer took a break from the show circuit to hang out. A shoe brand’s marketing manager jetted in from LA.
People had changed careers and gone back to school. They started their own ventures. They were working in healthcare, changing patients’ lives. Or they had moved back in with their parents to save some money. Some were completely burnt out already. Others were reconsidering their careers, cities, and love lives.
We were a group of people whose definitions of success changed sharply over the last several years. We were a group of people who didn’t have much in common anymore—except for the memories.
As we laughed about the times we danced on a bar, or we told embarrassing stories from the college vault, we remembered that we aren’t really that different. Maybe our lives took different turns. Maybe we aren’t all the people we used to be. But, for just the night, we decided to indulge in a part of us that we haven’t seen in years.
We drank alcohol and danced across the floor. We laughed hysterically at an after-party. We got up and sang karaoke. We made plans to travel the world and see each other. And, even though we knew it probably wouldn’t happen that often, it was just fun to be there last night. To let ourselves break the rules and be 21 again. To let ourselves indulge in the people we once were. In part of who we still are.
We weren’t high-powered executives, up-and-coming artists, or struggling students. We weren’t LA bombshells, European travelers, or New York power players. It didn’t matter what we did or where we were. Both grad school students and band managers are equally bad at karaoke. Both wellness coaches and advertising pros still shutter at the thought of taking a shot.
We were just people. Just old friends getting together to remember how much fun we can have when we allow ourselves.
So, yeah—I was on a bender. I’ll be detoxing all weekend. But I was reminded that we don’t have to live life according to a plan. We live moment-to-moment. And it’s in the individual moments that we can decide how to live it. It’s in the individual moments that we can decide what feels best to us.
Maybe alcohol isn’t great for me. Maybe gluten isn’t always the right choice. But, last night, there was nothing more right than indulging in a trip down memory lane. In laughing harder than I’ve laughed in years. In being just a person—not a job title or set of accomplishments or book of rules.
We get so caught up in this idea of identity, don’t we? We get so caught up in our jobs, our routines, our structures, our diets, our rules. And it’s great for most of the time. But we’ve got to cheat once in a while. We’ve got to find that thing once ever blue moon that’s worth cheating for. We’ve got to remember that we can just go with the flow any time we want. That we can make a decision on the spot, not based on who we are in life, but on what feels good in that moment.
Years will go by. We’ll all move on. We’ll change. We’ll grow. We’ll forget about one another. But it’s comforting to know that, no matter where we are or what we do, we’re all just people. We’re all just human beings. Who like to laugh and dance and tell embarrassing stories.
And, in the right moment, that’s worth breaking the rules for.
Originally posted at bostonwellnesscoach.com.
Also by Mike Iamele:
I’m an Otherwise Straight Man (Who Fell In Live With His Best Friend)
What Love Is & What Love Isn’t
How a Straight Man in a Gay Relationship Made It Work
Photo: Kelly Reeves/Flickr