You Really Deserve Your Wow!

Essay 7 of 18

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I still think this idea of life giving you a gateway and a threshold to walk through your ashes is critical because the fact that you weren’t given the opportunity by the way Tema ended things is data. It is data about where she truly was during the relationship.

The more significant point that I’m making here is that this is not a tit-for-tat process that you’re in with her; meeting her served a larger purpose.

To me, what I think I’m trying to say is, “You really deserve your wow!” I really think it’s out there for you.

I think this experience that you’ve been going through gives you a different way of processing, with the intention of what you need to do next. Not to get to the end of your process and conclude, “Oh, to hell with relationships!”

Nooo!! There is more out here for you!

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Look, a different kind and a less reflective guy would’ve been happy just to have been in the relationship and been like,

“Oh hell! I pulled that!?!”

“I was able to pull that gorgeous young woman, and where I am!?!”

“Oh I know I still got some game!”

In some ways, it’s a beautiful healing part for you to be able to come back alive after staying off the market for the better part of three/four years following your divorce.

But perhaps it is also a reckoning part for you to appreciate that maybe the primary cause of Tema walking away, the way she did, was not the “distance in age, but the distance in stage,” because emotional development matters.

Because you, I or anyone, can have all the love and graciousness in the world, but if the other person doesn’t have some deep, discerning, reflective relationship development they can bring to the table, that’s going to be a problem.

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Essay 8 of 18: Making Peace with those Meta-women (coming — 03.19.22)

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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