It’s a lovely weekend afternoon and you’re just chilling on your own until you notice, someone is not. she is effortlessly walking around without a single word spoken and that scares you because just half an hour ago she was all happy and singing. you don’t know what to do or say!
She looks like a loaded weapon to you now!
Is she going to have another fight or something else?
No one knows!
There’s something great about expressive women, they’re as transparent as glass! but at the moment they choose to be silent, everything gets foggy and unclear like in an 80s horror movie!
Stereotypically, women are identified to be more expressive than men. not just that, they want their partner to be as open as they are and that’s okay. seeing things from a feminine perspective. going through the numerous emotions they generate, expressing is the least they can do. a woman’s silence has always a solid reason behind it.
Men on the other side pursue silence to maintain their inner peace. a male brain requires silence to stay focused and productive, these are two main male characteristics that may identify them as non-social beings when confronting the opposite side. however, when it comes to facing silent women, it can be scary to them. fear of the unknown — that is going on in a woman’s mind — is serious!
I know that for men, there is nothing scarier than a silent woman. the fact that she is not informing you of the danger in her head is both funny and unfair. some of these moments of silence happen out of a sudden and that will make you more confused; is she having problems or she is just being quiet?
Society fails to teach us that women also require silence and it doesn’t mean danger is about to happen! it also doesn’t mean they’re just doing fine.
Women may be quiet, but their feelings never shut down. to be exact, our feelings can wake us up in the middle of the night or shape our dreams as we sleep, that’s how attached we are. I can say with confidence that a woman’s soul feeds on emotions and it’s her way of understanding the world and living life as it should.
Even in the most inactive moment, women are generating hundreds of emotions that can turn into a messy yarn if not taken care of. therefore, silence is not for women, at least not for too long. they cannot tidy up and organize their inner contemplation when not expressed.
They need to be poked in their feelings! so they can speak out!
Women are silent when they’re processing their early observations or when they’re reflecting on things within.
If a woman finds 2000 people to help them, they gather them around effortlessly. they can expand their circle of communication as wide as that, but that would never make her feel in control of her life. so when it comes to making life decisions, she tends to do it alone and quietly.
When she is minimizing her social circle, it means she is going through some self-observations and all a man can do is, let her find her way in silence.
Women can be silent when they’re healing. as we’re highly internalized beings, we tend to heal within ourselves. we enjoy going to therapy or calling our BFF but in the end, we need that hour of silence to implement things, alone.
A lot of men find women’s silence disturbing during tough times. they are not aware of the fact that women tend to be more silent when they’re forgiving, fixing things, or regenerating their power. imagine a woman who just went through a breakup and she had a hell of a fight with her ex. in that heated moment, she is the loudest and strongest version of herself. but as soon as she gets back to her own world, she needs to build herself up.
Here’s one thing that men usually miss, women keep regenerating themselves and this is a gift thanks to their fertile nature. they redirect themselves in the areas they were hurt and it gives them a resolution for the future. to obtain this knowledge.
I recognize women as a calm lake, and troubles can be a pebble thrown at them. these pebbles create waves on the wave, which are the triggered feelings. once someone throws a rock/pebble at us, we can’t track it down as it may go deeper and deeper within us. a lot of times, we don’t know where is our pain coming from, we just show you the waves of emotion on the surface.
It’s okay to cry!
We need to be alone and process what we’ve been through, even if it makes us cry like a baby. when a woman cries, she’s recovering her strength to acknowledge her pain. she feels it, but she can’t point it out so you let the tears do the work until we get a resolution.
And we mostly get that resolution on our own. although women push men to contribute as equally as possible in a relationship, they make individual decisions when it comes to solving their problems. we by nature internalize things, and we are more prone to feel guilty about mistakes that teach us one lesson: we’re the ones to make a change in our lives.
A woman is the most powerful and most feminine version of herself when she can enjoy her silence and let her silent thoughts and feelings adjust her life. when she is upset, helpless, and powerless, she uses much more energy than men to speak up, and that can set free the angry beast she’s been taming all along. as far as I know, that beast is up to no good. it can make her a highly aggressive being who damages everything with no possibility of repair.
Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash
What should men do when a woman is quiet?
Take a deep breath and remind yourself how much you love her! that’s your first step. if she has enough reasons to be annoyed in silence, you shouldn’t add up to them!
Here’s to make it harder for you, it totally depends on the woman and the situation. but you can tell it very well if you know the woman well enough. does she need to be asked a few times till she opens up? or does she prefer to spend some time quiet and then speak it out? in any case, I suggest men make women break their silence and inspire them to speak up.
Once we bottle things up, they turn into disasters. it’s like building a dam against a river. I know that we should be expressive on our own and we shouldn’t drain men to do the job. but if you see things from a woman’s perspective, you’ll know why. women constantly measure things by feelings and they think others do the same once they express themselves. they only remain silent — or as you refer to it: mysterious — to protect themselves.
Their silence is a sign that her feelings are going in the wrong direction.
All it takes is a very appreciated redirection by you, dear men!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Korie Cull on Unsplash
