You Will Envy the Next Person That I Love

You will envy the next person that I love because you know exactly what I have to give.

You know that I pour love into every crevice that surrounds me.

You know the way that I considered you in every thought, action, reaction, how I carried your favorite things in my mind like sacred texts.

You will envy the way that I make homes out of my hands; that safe space feeling ,how I shine light into the darkest of rooms, how I listen with my whole body, how I saw you at your most vulnerable and never once looked at you differently for it.

You will envy the next person that I love because for the rest of your life you will remember what it was like to be loved by someone like they were trying to keep the entire world alive.

You will envy how I caress and adore every inch of their body, making them feel beautiful in ways they never knew they could be.

You will envy how I treat their insecurities with such tenderness that they begin to forget their own names, lifting them into a confidence brighter than the stars they once wished upon.

You will search for me in many, but you will find me in none.

And you know one day someone will look at me in my eyes and see all the things that you were too much of a coward to keep.

They will hear my laugh from down the hall and know that they will hope to never go another day without hearing it again.

You will not know their birthday, but you will be haunted with the fact that I will have it sketched into my mind like the initials in a tree and that I will show up with Joy and their favorite ice cream on days that feel like they will never end.

You will go to search my name years from now and see a child with eyes of the only person who ever really saw you and loved every single cobweb in your mind.

And only then will you realize that someone else will get the softness you only ever wounded out of me.