You’ll Know It Once You See Her

My first encounter with love was the story of the Titanic, the British Ocean liner that sank in 1912. A replicative movie was shot in 1997, and little me saw it in the early 2000s.

That was my first view of what it meant to love someone. Not just to love but to experience love at first sight.

As much as I grew up amidst a loving family and a couple who were so in love, I never felt the weight of such love from them… a romantic love. So, it always seems crazy to me when I hear folks cry and do unbelievable things while in love.

My first experience of love didn’t align with what I saw and heard in the Titanic movie or resemble what my parents shared.

The stars didn’t align, and I didn’t feel like my legs couldn’t hold me. I surely felt like letting her go every second of the day. There was never an afterglow.

It wasn’t until I took writing seriously and started to self-reflect that I reminisced and then agreed that I had never truly felt such a level of romantic love.

For a while, I had a long inquisition about love, or at least knowing how it feels to meet someone you want to spend a lifetime with. I looked at so many places, and even within myself, I couldn’t find an answer. So, I thought I would start with the closest lovers to me.

Dad and Mum — We Aren’t Soulmates

People find true love in the strangest places — Shelly Crane

When I finally decided to start feeding my inquisition about love, I started by examining the closest lovers to me: my dad and mum.

I knew that true love is found in the strangest places. There is no direct, realistic theory about it, but the best lovers are unlike poles, who are constantly geared toward each other by their curiosity.

My dad’s and mum’s cases are quite similar.

She wanted to know if he would stay the tide after their families conflicted with one another and were hell-bent on not letting them be together.
He wanted to know if she would still love him after the unheard was out in the open.

She was his friend’s younger sister. Their relationship was awkward, unusual, and unheard of, but curiosity kept them together. They found love in a strange situation, and today, they have a loving family.

Dad’s Hypothesis

In my inquisitive journey, I decided to dive even more deeply. So I asked my dad… how you knew she would be your wife?

You’ll know it once you see her, he said.

He explained that the stars would align and time would slow down, but I never believed what he said.

I didn’t believe him. How would you know it once you see her?

I had a billion questions.

What if she was already married to someone else?
What if that one person had passed to the great beyond before I met her?

Then he replied, ‘ That would be similar to a soulmate.’ Listen! Your mum and I are not soul mates. There is no such thing. But we’ve chosen one another. We decided to stick with one another like glue.

I got even more confused.

To me! It was all a fallacy. I needed to prove the hypothesis.

In the next few years, I imagined many women as the one for me—my forever love, like in the Titanic movie, and my ride-or-die, like dad and mum.

But I was constantly met with disappointment—one failed love after another, a presumed love line cut in half every time.

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Well, it was not until recently that I proved the hypothesis. Somehow, I knew she was the one when I met her. Time stood still. I felt the air and its soft touch on my skin for the first time. I constantly marveled at how imperfectly perfect she was.

To whoever’s love thirsty… You’ll know it once you see her.

What are your thoughts on this?

Be expectant; a detailed experience of my attempt to prove the hypothesis will be published soon.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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