Your Apology Was a Gift

The following are my opinions/feelings/beliefs, etc. I would never want to be so presumptuous as to be qualified to describe my own life experiences.

Recently, I felt like one man was acting like a creep towards me. I also felt like his friend should have known better about his behavior and was partially responsible for contributing to the unpleasant circumstance.

One reason I did not immediately confront the offending man is because I have had to interact with a number of profoundly disgustingly-behaved people in long-term circumstances where I just had to put up with it and act like nothing was wrong or else things would have turned out even worse than they did. It can be second nature to slip back into that nonresponse. In the recent instance, it was in a public place and I did not have any circumstances requiring me to have anything more to do with this man so I planned to avoid conflict by simply not going back to where I met him.

Also, I have been well informed that I have no voice. When I approached someone in authority for help in the past I was told that a lot of people have it worse off than me so there is no time to look into my matter. Then, that was followed up with a declaration that it is a free world and the person I asked for help with can do whatever they want. I learned that rules and laws can be written that perfectly describe my circumstance but that the protections of those rules do not apply to me. Not a great memory to live with.

The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.

– Albert Einstein

So when the friend of the offending man followed up about something acting like he was clueless, I ignored him at first. How dare he contact me anymore? But then he was more persistent than I expected and was rather convincing that possibly he did not realize all the behaviors of his friend, I took the risk of speaking up for myself and informed him of why I had been ignoring him. There was no organizational structure to be cognizant of such as a workplace or place of worship so I didn’t feel like I had a lot to lose. Things already went sour, so why not take a risk so that perhaps history will not repeat itself?

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

– Mother Teresa

By all appearances this man believed me. He gave a very thoughtful apology for matters that maybe he genuinely did not know. He acted like I had told him the truth and made an effort to make things right on his behalf. I do not plan to have anything more to do with him, but I deeply appreciate that he listened. This is an even more valuable gift than the epic boost to my chess rating thanks to his instruction. It was nice to Got This in experience instead of just by faith that on some distant day I will have something.

To others who have helped me to stand up for myself and not have it be a totally miserable experience as well, my gratitude to you is great.

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