Your Personality Might Be a Lie

“Who were you before the world told you who to be?”

— Glennon Doyle

Growing up, we don’t realize how our identities are being built for us.
Not shaped by who we are — but by how others see us. How they label us.
The praise. The criticism. The casual comparisons.
All of it slowly carves us into someone we might never have chosen to be.

My parents did it. Teachers did it. Even relatives who barely knew me had opinions.
“You’re the smart one.” “You’re too emotional.” “Why can’t you be more like them?”
And I absorbed it. I shaped myself according to the image they held of me, not the truth I felt inside.

And then there was validation — that deep, aching need to be seen.
To be heard. To be liked.
For the longest time, I wanted everyone to understand me. I wanted approval in every room I entered. I didn’t know it back then, but I was scared — scared of rejection, scared of disappointing people.
Maybe I was a people-pleaser. Maybe I still am, a little.

But eventually, something shifted.
I got tired.
Tired of trying to please everyone. Tired of shaping myself around others. Tired of pretending I didn’t care when I did, or pretending I cared when I didn’t.

So, I began letting go.
Not all at once. But little by little.
I stopped taking every comment to heart. I stopped bending just to fit in. I stopped handing my worth over to people who didn’t even understand me.

And something incredible happened — I started becoming more me.
Not a version of me for others to like. Just… me.

But even now, the world doesn’t make it easy.
Society has a script.
Get the right job at the right time.
Marry by the “socially approved” age.
Stay inside your religion, your caste or race, your boxes.
Have kids. Smile. Do what’s expected.
And if you don’t, the world doesn’t always question the system.
They question you.

From the minute we’re born, people start assigning roles.
Is he friendly? Is she polite? What family are they from? What background? What religion?
We’re labelled before we even understand who we are.

And honestly? Sometimes I feel like I’m not normal.
Because I think differently. Because I feel more.
Because I’ve set goals for myself that scare me. Because I’m not willing to settle.

I’ve set my standards so, so high — not to prove anything to anyone, but because I just can’t live a life that doesn’t feel honest.
And yes, that’s scary.
Because I don’t know if I’ll reach those dreams.
I don’t have it all figured out.
I don’t know what I’m doing half the time.

But still… I feel calm.
There’s peace in the mess. Because at least the mess is mine.

Because somewhere deep inside, I know:

I’m not here to perform.
I’m not here to live a life curated by someone else’s expectations.
I’m here to be a whole, soulful human being. On my own terms.

And that? That’s enough.

Key Message: Our identities are not formed in isolation — they are constantly shaped, challenged, and sometimes confined by the society we grow up in. To truly know ourselves, we must learn to separate who we are from who we’ve been told to be.

— Anushka & Vishnu🐾