Jordan Gray says that, no matter how hard you try, you can’t outsource your growth to your partner.
What do you get out of your romantic relationships?
What do you most consistently look for in a partner?
What are the non-negotiable things that you know that your potential partner has to have as a character trait in order for you to consider them as an option?
What lacking trait has made you let go of people that were otherwise good for you in the past?
Too many people treat their intimate partners like need-filling machines that they can latch on to and grow from.
But all too often, if there’s something that you know that you consistently get from your partners, that thing may be the hint as to where you need to grow the most.
Want some examples?
You need a partner with drive and ambition because you lack the ability to direct your own life.
You need a partner who has unparalleled willpower because you lack the ability to self-monitor.
You need a partner who is supremely nurturing because you are so sparse with your self-nurturing.
You need a partner who has mastered emotional intelligence because you find it exceedingly difficult to access your own feelings.
You need a partner who is exceptionally lavish with their verbal praise because you need a voice to try and counteract the negative self-talk in your own mind.
Whatever the thing is that you find yourself needing the most from your partners is often the thing that you need to work on the most.
Yes, your partner is by your side to help support you in your journey. But while there is absolutely nothing wrong with leaning on your partner for support, if your only source of praise/validation/drive/nurturing/relaxation/insert-any-trait-here is your partner, then you might need to try finding some balance in getting your needs met.
Do you agree or disagree?
Tell me in the comments below.
You can see more of Jordan’s best writing at JordanGrayConsulting.com
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