I’ve gotten this before.
At the dreaded picture exchange. You know the one. If you’ve looked for a lover on Reddit and haven’t seen each other yet.
“You’re not even my typical type, but you have an air about you that dares a man to not be attracted to you.”
Huh.
How to unwrap all these negatives? Is it a positive? Or not?
I’ve received these non-committal “I’ll-fuck-you-if-you’re-the-only-one-left” types of replies when I was looking, too. Made me mad.
Nope. NOPE. Nope.
As another Redditor wrote, “It’s a classic neg. It’s dressed up, sure, but take the fancy coat off, and it’s an ugly backhanded compliment.”
Compliments do not need qualifiers.
IF you aren’t attracted to someone, then don’t sugarcoat the turd. It is what it is. Everyone is not for everyone. I have tits and ass. Not every guy is on board with that. I found my special monkey who adores my full round body.
“I can’t get enough of you babe,” he says.
What I don’t need:
“I’ll fuck you as a favor.”
I’ve had lovers like that. Usually, it doesn’t make for a decent lay. If I’m not a “FUCK YES!” then you are a “FUCK NO.”
One clever Redditor wrote:
“You may not even think you’re a typical asshole, but you have a definite air about you that dares a woman to not slap that bullshit straight out of you.”
That made me smile.
“I’m a plus-sized girl. Also, black. It’s not a compliment. It reminds me of that ‘you’re pretty for a big girl,’ wrote another lady.
We need Lizzo right now, peeps! She’d smack him down a few notches. She’d say:
“Girl no. Don’t entertain this man. Plenty of men willing to treat you like the queen you are!”
Hair toss, check my nails….ya know.
Thank you. NEXT.
“Set him straight. He sounds arrogant and like he lives behind a screen. Imagine what he’s like when he’s not trying to get some.”
Yup.
He’s looking to get LAID. And he’s saying this shit! That’s what is so remarkable. He’s the kind of guy who would say, “I love to please you” and then never touch your pussy. “Next time, girl,” he’d promise. And there would be no next time.
That’s not right.
“What a douche bag.”
“That does not pass the sniff test at all.”
“Fuck all the way off with that.”
Women have spoken.
“You’re not my type. I’d still fuck you if there weren’t any other better options.” That’s what I heard. Don’t get down on yourself, though. We aren’t going to be attractive to everyone. But you will be someone’s reason to masturbate, I guarantee you. Find that special snowflake of a man. He’s out there.
You deserve better. You deserve a man who will tell you you’re beautiful unequivocally.
…
If you liked this one, read my original on being rejected at the picture exchange:
And for all those shallow Hals:
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Dan Edge on Unsplash