Well…
Here I am. On the other side of nearly 20 years(actually 18) of trade work.
I’ve gone from full-time work to part-time so I can give breath to my writing.
The very daunting yet exciting thing though, is that I have no idea how this is going to go.
I’m scared out of my mind, still a little(very?) lost, and have no idea how it’s going to go.
When you only know one way of life, it’s a lot to change it.
To save time, I’ll summarize my story. Then I’ll tell you how I’m changing my life from electrician to WRITER.
…
Firstly.
Something I want everyone besides myself to know first, is that the human mind is not so easily controlled. And in a modern world where the internet has shown us things that originally hidden, more and more people are realizing that they are capable of more.
And if that’s you — side note — I want you to believe in that.
…
I grew up relatively normal.
And something I’m becoming continually grateful for, is that I’ve had no insane handicaps that could possibly keep me from being whatever I wanted.
I had a mother and a father. I had friends and family. I have good memories of love and birthdays and dogs and trampolines. I did just as good as any kid in school, and although I was a very timid and scared of the world, I got through it fairly happy.
I point this out to say that, regardless of the memories we have of emotional setbacks in our lives, who we are is greatly determined by how well(and how often) we let those flashbacks verify who we are.
That’s MOST of us.
This is one of the three things I’ll mention later.
Beyond high school I did what a lot of young men do.
I found an option. Albeit not something I would’ve passionately chose, I did so because the world puts pressure on us to choose. To contribute even though we haven’t had any time to think. To be responsible for ourselves in ways that arguably fall short of what responsible actually means.
I paid my bills, vowed to never have to burden my mother again, and worked hard.
I had just started on a journey that may not have been my favorite choice but not knowing what I wanted to do(which I figured out was just fear), I took life optimistically.
I loved tattoos, the gym, motorcycles, cars, romantic gestures to girls, laughter, and money.
But what was really happening…?
I was unconsciously suppressing something that had been with me my whole life. Something I silenced for the sake of other people’s opinions and advice:
Autonomy.
…
Fast forward.
Late twenties.
I have my heart broken. Truly broken. Suicidal rants to my mom type of broken.
And in my shattered state, my dissolved ideas of life, and my new doubt in identity, I had a resetting thought.
There has to be more to this.
…
It’s been eight years since that day.
Eight very long years.
And moving from electrician to writer was not just a toggle switch(hehe. Get it? Like a light switch…okay, horrible joke). It was a mess of failures and resets. New thoughts and dispassionate attempts.
Almost a decade of collected wisdom helped me change. Things that helped me specifically find my way to here. Trying to connect with people through words about life and love.
But of all things I’ve learned, here are three things I think each individual can use to find autonomy in their own lives:
1.You have to silence the noise.
– Although what we can learn is infinite, it’s too loud to hear your own voice as well as not be strayed by the influence of other people’s success and lifestyles. You have to be able to hear your own soul. Your desires.
2. Believe in your own thoughts and ideas.
– I don’t care what the world tells you is right or wrong, good or bad. You have to listen to yourself first. Your ideas, your convictions, your whys. You have to pursue the world from your angle, not everyone else’s. That’s where your progress lies.
3. Forget your past.
– Don’t worry, you’ll always have memory. What I mentioned before about emotional memories is that we rigidly attach ourselves almost always to what we know about our pasts. And we base our character almost always on the bad things we’ve been told about ourselves. And in present time, we repeatedly reiterate why things can’t change: we’re not smart enough, focused enough, determined enough, passionate enough, creative enough. You have to replace all these horrible thoughts of what the world and people made feel when you were younger. There’s a time to process trauma, but you’ll never change if you constantly hold on to them and think about them.
…
Ultimately, I think resiliency is our greatest friend.
The ability to wake up, fail, and try again. But the three aforementioned things are at the core of that resiliency. They keep the wheel moving.
And here’s an extra tip:
Hold on to the things that bring you smiles and laughter, even just for moments.
Truth and Love, Reader.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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