Dillan DiGiovanni thinks Jonah Hill isn’t homophobic but merely an imperfect human being.
—–
Did you hear the latest about Hollywood actor, Jonah Hill?
According to multiple press sources, he “hurled a homophobic slur” at paparazzi when they got in his face.
Some say he’s a homophobe.
—-
I have a different take. Get ready for this newsflash! I think he’s just an imperfect human being who made a mistake but had the courage to admit it almost immediately. He did so, in fact, with such inspiring vulnerability, I’m having a hard time thinking anything other than what an amazing man he is. Yes, he used a slur that has hurt many gay men (and their friends and families) for many years. But then he apologized. If we truly want to move our nation forward, specifically in regards to gay/LGBTQ rights, what more can we ask of people than a sincere apology when they mess up? Can we be patient and watch the evolution of a nation one person and one apology at a time?
I think it’s so easy to go to this place when someone screws up, especially when they do it in a way that highlights one of the major social justice issues of our time. This is what we do. We hold such high (read: unrealistic) standards for people to change and for celebrities to behave and then freak out when they show their human side along the way. In my experience, we do this because we hold our own selves up to these equally unrealistic expectations. It’s so much easier to point fingers when someone else screws up. Phew. The pressure is off us for a moment and we can throw a stone at someone else’s glass house.
What does that get us? Do we feel better? Does it help someone else change or evolve? Does it bring us closer to the equality we want everyone to experience? Can we actually achieve that by shaming the hell out of human beings when he or she makes a mistake?
♦◊♦
Yep, he called the paparazzo a faggot.
Yep, it’s something we were taught not to do in middle school.
If only, if only, we all did what we were taught–and if only we were all taught the same things. If we did, it would be a utopia. But we don’t live in a utopia, we live in reality. A reality in which human beings, imperfect human beings, live and interact with each other based not on universal ideals but realistic truths.
It would be so easy to hold this person, this average everyday person, to some higher standard that your average American doesn’t even live up to. I won’t turn this into a rant about our Hollywood celebrity thing that we do here in America, but instead I’ll share what I thought when I read the article about Jonah Hill.
I thought it was brave of him to apologize. I felt it undid his transgression in one instant. He messed up, he realized it and he apologized, end of story. By messing up and then admitting he was wrong, I venture to say he did far more for LGBTQ rights than if he walked around acting like he was on board the whole time. He made a mistake that brought attention to the power of that word and then he took great pains to express how wrong it was. Progress.
♦◊♦
Given the numerous recent acts of violence, we have entered a new and enlivened discussion about many important topics regarding social justice, equality and fairness. We have these discussions because we seek to build the world we dream about. What’s missing for me is the fact that AS we build, we are bound to mess up. We are bound to get it wrong. We are likely to miss the mark.
What is our Plan B for when that happens? While we are building the beloved community where all people are treated fairly and equally and violence becomes a thing of the past, where do we include the acceptance and love for our universal human imperfection?
How do we account for the process of change as we move from one state to another, because it’s bound to be messy and messed up.
I know that people are impatient. I am, too. We want to rush the process of change at the individual, organizational and societal levels because injustice is often cruel, uncomfortable and unkind.
But we are making progress. We might make more if we counted each person’s contribution, however erroneous, as essential to the whole process.
|
Whenever I get frustrated by what seems like a setback, something like what Jonah Hill said and did, I think about how long people have been working for change. It’s an endless process.
“I do not pretend to understand the moral universe; the arc is a long one, my eye reaches but little ways; I cannot calculate the curve and complete the figure by the experience of sight; I can divine it by conscience. And from what I see I am sure it bends towards justice.”
-Theodore Parker
If we want to experience a reality where people are treated with fairness and love, particularly regarding their sexuality and/or gender identity, we have to include everyone in that picture. We have to grant fairness and love to those who have some growing and evolving to do. If we don’t, we are just hypocrites shouting from the stands at the ones on the court looking like fools and bearing their vulnerabilities.
Jonah Hill said and did something he’d seen in society as an appropriate response growing up as a boy. As he’s learned from relationships as he’s matured, including a same-sex marriage he is attending soon, he’s integrating the past and the present. He made an apology for his error along the way. He is doing his best to create the ideal society we speak of while still being a product of our nation’s past.
If that isn’t evidence of evolution at work, damn, I don’t know what is. I, for one, give the guy a lot of credit for trying to be a part of changing history–starting with admitting his own human perfection. It’s the only way we are going to achieve the ideal we all strive for.
photo courtesy of Carlo Allegri/AP
Dillan writes and tweets often. Check him out at DillanDiGi.com and his twitter profile.
The thing about this guy and Alec Baldwin’s outbursts is that, on a subconscious level, they are still homophobic against male homosexuality which is why, when they are angry, the anti- gay slurs “cocksucker” and “faggot” come bursting forth from their mouths. Nobody doubts that they have gay friends and that they have made statements of support for the LGBT community in the past. However, as they were raised in a homophobic society, they still think that in order to embarrass or tell-off paparazzi, they have to resort to denigrating the identity of gay men! By the way, you say… Read more »
Every specific outburst, be it mistake or ignorance becomes a staging area used to further particular agendas related to said outburst. I don’t believe a lot are genuinely offended, but, instead seize an opportunity to get press. I think that’s dishonest in that we will tear down a person so that we can make our cause the victim and thus build up our agenda. It’s hypocritical to tear someone down for being an imperfect human just so we can be built up or seen. The man made a mistake. He admitted it. If Bill Clinton had just said, “Yeah, I… Read more »
dillan, i broadly agree with your line of thinking.
those who condemn him so completely , i hope they have full command of their subconscious systems, and know its every peculiar prejudice. – of course they do not, lol they cant even stop a thought bubbling up into their conscious mind.
if he has earnestly apologised and he has been a genuine friend to gay people. then i hope his apology would be generally accepted.
im always suspicious of the trenchantly sanctimonious
absolutely agree with you jameseq. thanks for commenting and sharing your opinion!
I see the progress, and yes I believe we should “let the person go” after they sincerely apologize. Yet, he is still a homophobe, apologizing or not. Not all imperfect human beings are homophobes. I would never call anyone a faggot, nigger or bitch – I am not part of any of these groups of people, nor I believe bringing their sexual orientation race or gender down is acceptable. Americans should stop condoning things like that and believing we are trying “too hard” to be good people. That is not too hard, not too much. In fact, most Americans are… Read more »
This was not homophobia. This was a hurt man slinging a word that has been given a derogatory meaning out of frustration. Was it wrong? Yes. Is it an awful word? You bet! But would we be calling him a misogynist if he called that man a bitch or a whore? I bet not. And guess what? Those are loaded, derogatory words, too.
I would definitely call him a misogynist if he used the words “bitch” or “whore”. The reason those words are an insult is the belief in female inferiority, just like the homophobic intention behind him saying “faggot”. It’s not that complicated and quite dismaying to see these hamfisted apologists for bald faced bigotry.
I applaud you, then, for never mis-stepping. I do hope that if you ever make a mistake out of a place of vulnerability, people are far more kind and forgiving than you.
good distinction to be made, Josh. One can be both an imperfect human AND a homophobe. However, I don’t get the impression Jonah is one, I think he said something he instantly regretted and was pretty honest about it. thanks for reading and posting!
My boyfriend was raised a Texan, and still sometimes reflexively calls people ‘faggot”. And yes, that is homophobia, and although gay, that makes him a homophobe. My dad calls people with odd notions ‘fruits’, and although he is totally behind me, that makes him a homophobe. If you say anything that has ever made some gay man or lesbian hesitate in coming out to anyone, even for a half a second, you are promulgating homophobia, and you are, to some degree a homophobe. Like everyone else alive. I have my everyday racism, automatically giving black men more space, mocking the… Read more »
thanks for commenting, Jon Jay. I agree with you. We only can do our best and then be responsible when we still miss the mark–but not beat ourselves up about it or quit, especially if something is important to us. thanks for reading!