The man who wrote a scathing email to local news anchor Jennifer Livingston criticizing her weight and telling her she is a bad influence upon viewers for being what he calls “obese”.
Livingston became world-famous when a clip of her giving a strong, personal and heartfelt response to her bully went massively viral.
Now, the man behind the email is speaking out, saying that it was never his intention to hurt Livingston… But really? What did he think would happen when he called her fat and told her she was hurting society by being the size she is?
The man stands by his original message, but didn’t mean for that message to be hurtful.
What do you think of the bully’s apology? Is he being genuine? Is it really an apology if you still stand by your message? Is he right that he can’t be her bully if she’s a “big time media personality” and he’s just a regular guy?
I think that Mr. Krause raised legitimate points. His letter was not “scathing,” but a well-reasoned comment. I think he’s a stand-up guy for standing behind what he said, not cowering before the almighty forces of political correctness. Obesity is a massive problem, no pun intended. It is causing billions of dollars in excess health care costs to insurers, that the rest of us then must absorb through rising insurance premiums, more expensive health care services, etc. Obesity is a character issue, one that reflects poorly on the anchorwoman, and one that can be addressed, even if there’s something glandular… Read more »
I have to say I agree with a lot of this. It seems most people have jumped on this “anti-bullying” angle because it gives them the feel good rush of getting on a righteous bandwagon. The anchor was hurt by what the man said, her husband was angry, so they decided to treat the letter as something other than what it was. If the letter had been something like “Hey fatty, you’re disgusting, I dont want to see your fat face on television! How dare you think it’s ok to be fat like you are?! You make me want to… Read more »
@ Daniel: There are still very few obese or even overweight images in the media, and when they are, they are routinely made fun of (or in this case, sent a faux -helpful email). I don’t think there is any danger at the moment of the population believing it’s “okay” to be overweight. There is still an overwhelming amount of body shame out there. Seriously, the sheer amount of anorexic models gracing the covers of nearly every magazine along the grocery store isles normalizes a ridiculous body type. Until you see “plus size models” (which are usually very average, in… Read more »
http://www.ted.com/talks/nicholas_christakis_the_hidden_influence_of_social_networks.html
By teaching people that it is O.K. to be overweight simply diminishes any desire they will have to try and lose it. This then will esult in a greater population of “larger pepole.” Whether we as a population believe that it is O.K. to be overweight or not is the REAL issue at hand here, not the T.V. anchor stuff. So this really leaves us with a few existential questions? Would you be ok with yourself for being overweight? And if you had a kid would you be OK with them being over weight? Would you yourself ever start smoking… Read more »
This is what’s known as an “Un-pology.”
“IF Jennifer os offended, then I am sorry…”? This shifts the problem onto the victim. It is NEVER o.k. for a stranger to comment upon another’s appearance, especially in a negative way, or to reduce her value as a professional to simply her weight, as if that alone makes her a bad role model for young women. He should be ashamed.
“It is NEVER o.k. for a stranger to comment upon another’s appearance, especially in a negative way”
So it’s not OK for a stranger to compliment someone on their appearance either? What about if someone has something stuck in their teeth, should I not tell them?
Just saying…
I dont think I saw anyone even question if what he did was actually bullying, before Marcus. According to google, bullying is defined as “Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants”. The person writing the email had neither superior strength nor influence. However, the aim of the email certainly seemed to be to get the anchor to do what he wants (take civic responsibility, according to his POV, and lose weight or not appear on television). What’s interesting to me is that there are any number of behaviors… Read more »
When I saw this story and watch Livingston’s on-air response to the mean letter, all my sympathy was with her. Since she did not out the man by name, it seemed a reasonable and measured response. She still has my sympathy, up to that point. Now that the letter-writer’s identity has been exposed and he is being subjected to ambush journalism and Internet “justice”, I’m feeling what I didn’t think was possible at first – sympathy for him. Not for his opinion of Livingston or how he expressed it, but this has gotten absurd. As distasteful as his views might… Read more »
So, Marcus for you bullying can only occur if one person has actual power over another? Livingston couldn’t be bullied because she has a tv career? We don’t know how many nasty emails she gets on a monthly basis, or calls. Do I think he should have been outed? No. I don’t have any idea who outed him. Do I think the internet should get all ragemob at him? No, but I mean…that’s what happens. I think his email to her was rude and cruel and says way more about him than her. He’s the one that wrote it after… Read more »
Do I think he should have been outed? No. I don’t have any idea who outed him. Do I think the internet should get all ragemob at him? No, but I mean…that’s what happens. I think his email to her was rude and cruel and says way more about him than her. He’s the one that wrote it after all. There wasn’t any real reason to tell her those things. Reporters tracking him down? Bullying? Sure. That’s how our entire culture works right now Marcus. It’s totally toxic. Looks like we agree on that part. So about those questions you… Read more »
Interesting and, imo, accurate distinction between trolling and bullying.
Thanks for helping me clarify my attitude towards this in my own mind
what a chump.that’s no apology, that’s him getting face time, all the while still bullying. I woulda said the ol’ stand-by….” well, she may be fat but you’re ugly….and she can diet if she wants….you’re stuck with baboon- ass ugly for ever.” he’s a real jewel….inside and out.
No, saying “I’m sorry my words hurt your feelings” but not expressing regret for what you said, is not an apology. It’s just petulant.
It’s the kind of modern non-apology that has unfortunately become standard. “I’m sorry that what I said hurt your feelings, but “. And with that, you can get away with just about everything.
There’s no sign he listened to the people who rebuked him, and certainly no sign any of it has changed his mind or made him regret what he said.
I think he is just repeating negative body image messages that he received as a child from his hypercritical mother or father or authority figure….the fact that he doesn’t recognize it as bullying means that he must have heard those type of searing, nitpicky comments from someone he loved (ie., a parent, grandparent, or maybe teacher)….
He’s definitely got a chip missing….someone who speaks so negatively of other people must see something so awful when he looks in the mirror….it means he probably hates himself….or parts of his self….
I think you’re right, Leia.
Calling someone fat in a letter = mean.
Calling someone’s parents hypocritical authority figures with a history of searing, nitpicky comments, who probably hates the awfulness he sees in the mirror = ???
@Marcus: I know this sounds like a stretch…but look at his face…he’s looks like an anorexic (i.e., someone who suffers from severe body image distortion)….like someone who is super critical of his body faults and those of others…but that comes from somewhere else, like from his parents…he can’t really apologize sincerely because he doesn’t think he did or said anything wrong (most likely, this sort of behavior was tolerated in his house….perhaps normal…he says it like he was doing her a favor (ie., telling her that she was “fat” and ” a poor example to others” or whatever…)
Leia, do you never feel sorry that someone is hurt or bothered by something you said or did, even when you don’t think you said or did anything wrong? Let’s say you have some opinion or make some decision that disappoints your parents… can you only be sincerely sorry for having disappointed them or hurt them if you concede that your opinion/decision is wrong and you will do what they want? I don’t think that’s how apologies and feeling sorry works, but when some jerk goes viral, it’s fun to pretend he’s way worse than the rest of us. If… Read more »