Matt Crowder wants to reclaim the insult “Mama’s Boy” and celebrate the guys who love their mothers.
At one point in our lives we have either referred to as one or heard someone else being called one: A Mama’s Boy. As I remember it, being a “Mama’s Boy” wasn’t a good thing. Hopefully that stigma is about to change. Kate Stone Lombardi has written a book titled, The Mama’s Boy Myth which dispels many of the negative connotations associated with being a Mama’s Boy. Ms. Lombardi was interviewed recently on Good Morning America and speaks about her book and some of the benefits of good motherly nurturing such as Communication skills, self-control, and avoiding risky behavior.
I personally found this to be very interesting in that while I wasn’t called a “Mama’s Boy” to my face, I have always had a good relationship with my mom. If I could be half the parent that mine were then I have no doubt that my daughter will turn out pretty good.
Before I get too far, I want to say that I also have a really good relationship with my dad. He has been an awesome example to me of what a man should be and how to be a good father. Our relationship is different though than the one that I have with my mom. Mom had one of the most under-appreciated and under-valued “jobs”. She was a stay at home mom. While some in our society may look down on her for it, I for one greatly appreciate the fact that my mom was always there when we went to school and when we got home.
Often it was mom who would drop us off at school or pick us up after practice. If I close my eyes I can still smell the cookies or brownies that mom would regularly have baking for us when we got home from school. Now that I am older there is still something comforting to me knowing that if I call the house Mom will most likely be there and I can talk to her for a few minutes on my way to or from work.
Sure, my dad does have a cell phone and I could call him whenever I want to, but I know that he has meetings and is busy at work so if I talk to him it’s normally in the evening or on the weekends. It’s not that I don’t like talking to my dad, in fact it’s just the opposite. I am already looking forward to this summer when I know I will get to go golfing with my dad and we can spend a few hours, just the two of us, talking to each other while we try our best to psyche each other out so that we can win that hole or the round.
I strongly agree with the article and what Ms. Lombardi talks about in her book. Just the little bit that is online and in the interview has made this book part of my reading list. Hopefully this can go a long way to change our societal view on “Mama’s Boys”. In looking back at my relationship with my Mom, I guess I would fit in some ways into the mold of being a one too. I’ve honestly never thought of it as a bad thing, maybe because I have such a good mom and because I do have a good relationship with my dad too. If anything, my relationship with my mom has made me a better man in that I appreciate what my mom does for me and my siblings and that positively affects the way I treat other women in my life.
This makes me think about other negative stereotypes us men have to deal with… Whether it relate to being stay at home dads (as if somehow not as good as the moms), not being the bread winner, or society’s blanket assumptions of being a perv or sicko, abusive, or any other labels that are applied to us for expressing different types of manhood. As a community and society as a whole we need to continue to push back these stereotypes in every way we can, otherwise there will be another generation of boys that have to worry about dealing with them like we have.
What do you think? Is there a stigma attached to being a Mama’s Boy? Can we break the assumption that dads can’t be as good of stay-at-home parents as moms?