HeatherN explains how masculinity and heterosexuality have traditionally been assumed to be one and the same in our society, and points to how this is changing.
There are many conversations here at The Good Men Project that focus around the ways in which sexuality and gender are falsely equivocated. I talk a lot about how gender identity and sexual orientation get conflated in our society, and this article on Feministing explains further why I mean.
Sexual orientation is so closely tied to gender, that simply by identifying as non-straight, a man no longer qualifies as masculine. At the very least, he will be forced to explain and defend his masculinity. As that article points out, the term “straight acting” is synonymous with “masculine.”
It works in the reverse as well. A man who does not conform to traditionally masculine behaviour often feels forced to explain and defend his heterosexuality. Our society has placed a stigma on both, non-masculine behaviour in men and non-heterosexuality, and then tied them together. Fail at one and you risk further stigma by being assumed to have failed at the other as well.
That’s the bad. The good news is that this is changing. For one thing, gender nonconformity and non-heterosexuality are becoming more accepted in society at large. So perhaps at some point, being assumed to be non-masculine or non-heterosexual won’t carry with it such a social stigma. For another thing, masculinity itself is being redefined. That’s part of what The Good Men Project is all about. (I know because I read the “About Us” page).
What do you think? Are masculinity and heterosexuality inextricably linked? Do you see evidence of society changing to accept more diverse examples of masculinity?
Image of male symbol courtesy of Shutterstock
For men I’d say yes, masculinity and heterosexuality are linked. I know alot of people hate evolutionary psychology but I think there’s a credible case to make that gendered behaviour evolved to encourage successful reproductive strategies.
For women, the opposite, heterosexuality means rejecting masculinity.
I’m not sure I agree with that last sentence. In fact, women’s roles have opened up so much that many women can be extremely masculine (be telephone repair technicians, truckers, mechanics) and still be considered hetero. People throw around the term gendernormative pressure to make some kind of false equivalence. It is not equal. Women have much more freedom in roles. I’m not really surprised that these unequal pressures apply to gay men and women too. Lesbians can be considered feminine or masculine (and lesbianism is far far more tolerated in society: Madonna and Britney Spears kissing in public can… Read more »
So, I was hoping to focus on masculinity and men, and not make it into a comparison. But since you all brought it up… Do women have more freedom to express themselves outside of the normative behaviour assigned to their gender? Yeah, but not as much as you might think. Even with all the changes in our society, and the ‘women can be independent and have jobs too’ mentality…there is still great pressure on women to conform to their gender. Also, Madonna and Britney Spears kissing wasn’t really viewed as a lesbian act, really. It was two known straight women… Read more »
Except that masculinity and femininity differ between cultures. What is considered the height of manliness in one society can be extremely feminine in another. Gender norms are wicked culturally specific.
As to your second bit, yeah with women heterosexuality and femininity are connected. It’s not as quite as tight a connection as it is for men anymore, though.
I used to think evolutionary biology was credible too, but evolutionary psychology and changing the terms of gender roles don’t really go in hand. Evolutionary psychology reinforces gender stereotypes, and it can be hard to separate out culture from biology. Our brains are malleable, and this helps explain why there are so many different cultures. Evolutionary psychology makes the mistake of asserting that mainstream Western society is true all across the entire globe. I have never seen evo-psych explain Eastern society, which has many more nuances and completely different philosophies than Western society. Besides, we don’t have to worry about… Read more »
“So perhaps at some point, being assumed to be non-masculine or non-heterosexual won’t carry with it such a social stigma.”
That point will never come because opinions and beliefs differ between people, i don’t know why this is so hard to understand.
You can redefined SOME people’s definition of masculinity & heterosexuality, not everyone’s.
Everyone’s definitions don’t need to change to affect societal norms. There is such a thing as mainstream western society, even though not everyone in the west necessarily subscribes to it. And societies change, as do their perceptions about what is normal.
“There is such a thing as mainstream western society, even though not everyone in the west necessarily subscribes to it.”
If not everyone has subscribed to it, i’d call that a failure.
“And societies change, as do their perceptions about what is normal.”
Entire societies don’t change, members of the society do.
We still deal with Racism, Gender Bias and Homophobia.
Not every member of a society ascribes to all the morals and values held by the mainstream of that society. Humans are all individualistic to some degree, and thus not everyone will agree on what is right or wrong or normal or abnormal. And yes, entire societies do change…that’s why slavery (which was once considered totally acceptable in the U.S. and the colonies) is now totally and completely illegal. Not just illegal, but immoral and wrong. No one in the mainstream U.S. would suggest that slavery is a valid option…because society has changed. Yeah we still deal with racism and… Read more »
Heather,
Have you ever heard of an artist who went by the name Tom of Finland? The men he portrayed were definitely not hetero, and they were pretty definitely masculine. That was 50 some years ago.
I haven’t heard of him. Maybe I’ll look him up.
And yeah, that’s sort of what I’m talking about…heterosexuality and masculinity aren’t inherently connected. Our society has just associated the two together for a very long time.
When I realized I was bi, the added benefit was that all the stereotypical insults- pansy, F*ggot, cocksucker, etc- lost all power. Seriously, there is nothing funnier than the look on some dude’s face when you respond to the assertation that you suck cock with, “Yeah, so?”