You learn something new every day.
Today, I learned that there’s a practice known as “foreskin restoration,” whereby circumcised men, resentful of having been clipped against their will, tape up their tackle in an attempt to reclaim their man-hood.
I wasn’t even aware that this was a concern, but apparently, some men desire the “natural look.”
It’s not all about aesthetics, according to the National Organization of Restoring Men website (although they do point out that “85% of the world’s men feel an intact penis is normal, natural, and attractive”). Some circumcised men experience painful irritation from junk-to-underwear friction.
Whether or not this is painful or bothersome, over time, the exposure of the glans (Latin for “acorn”) decreases sensitivity, and in some men, limits their ability to reach orgasm.
Some men resent their parents’ snip decision. According to NORM, the de-turtlenecked among us don’t know what they’re missing—“a man, colorblind from birth and thinking his sight is normal, might also never question his condition.”
What does the restoration process entail? Here’s a snippet from the relevant eHow entry:
♦ Pull the shaft skin over the glans of your penis and tape it closed using first aid tape. The pressure of the glans of the penis will start stretching the skin.
♦ Stretch the shaft skin daily and be gentle. Pulling harder won’t make you see results faster. Stretching the skin will cause your body to produce more skin cells and encourage the skin and muscles to grow.
♦ Buy stretching devices such as weights to help aid in the re-growth of foreskin. Adding weights for short periods of time will increase the tension on the foreskin and help to speed up the restoration.
Some of these apparati, like the one pictured here, look less than comfortable.
If that doesn’t grab you, you could go with a more “elegant” solution: a trombone mouthpiece.
If you miss your long lost um, friend, but these options have you thinking, “I think I’d rather wear 80-grit underwear,” there’s always foreskin restoration surgery.
And if you’re on a limited foreskin restoration budget, there’s always the Manhood—“the world’s first foreskin substitute.”