Okay, for a long time I have been asked why there isn’t a good human being project or, more often, a good women’s project. Guess what? As I looked at my tweeter feed to see the zillion people who had retweeted my blog post about the Victoria’s Secret Model who quit (just btw the story idea came from a woman, of course, our wonderful Nicole Johnson) I stumbled upon something that caught my attention. I followed the tweeter handle back to the website…and yes you guessed it: The Good Women Project!
Their mission:
We exist to restore a woman’s identity as God created her to be.
Our generation of women is in the midst of an identity crisis.
We believe in being a place of trust, honesty, and encouragement.
We believe in reality.
We believe in truth, healing, and faith.
We believe in differences.
We believe in hard questions.
Join us as we stop the bitching and the biting, and bring good women back to life.
Who runs GWP?
Lauren Lankford Dubinsky is founder of Good Women Project. She also serves as the editor, web designer, and social media director. She writes frequently on her own blog, writes monthly for DeeperStory, and tweets way too much at@laurendubinsky. You can find her on Facebook too! Want to watch a quick video intro? That’s here.
Lauren is passionate for women’s hearts; to know their value, their worth, and to understand their identity as it was intended to be. She also tries to share what she’s learned about grief, depression, daddy issues, and becoming secure in being a woman. She loves to talk about sex, dating, porn, marriage and anything that isn’t typical dinner conversation. She is on a daily mission to make her life beautiful and speak truth in love. Adoring new wife of Max, and currently lives nowhere as she travels the country with him, hoping to go home soon to their new apartment in Hollywood.
I find the Good Women Project way more courageous than the Good Men Project. Those girls have a point of view and the balls to make a statement about it, unlike GMP, which I have always perceived as “anything goes when it comes to masculinity”.
So by chance what’s wrong with a “anything goes when it comes to masculinity” approach presuming that its not harmful to other people (the key part that you seem to have left out)?
Seems that’s the point of the project. To establish that there is no one ideal of masculinity and that it can come from anywhere (again as long as its not harmful to others).
And on the real, “…and the balls to make a statement”?
Goodness so tacky. Referring to testicles as a sign of courage is so last season’s gender policing…
Well, I had a look at the GWP and HOLY COW BATMAN!
A whole lotta God this, and God that going on.
I prefer the Flying Spaghetti Monster myself and his Noodly Blessings. Can’t say I’m going to spend much time at that place on the Interwebs. My loss I know, but the aggravation and annoyance that I will avoid will be worth the price.
Carry on….
As you say, it seems weird for something of a secular goal (being a good female person) to be so steeped into Christianity that half the articles mention scripture, goodness defined as from the Christian god, love defined from it etc. Critical thinking tells me that adding some god within reflections is unnecessary. I believe in reincarnation. I believe specifically in the Buddhist concept, whereas we always improve throughout incarnations. But do I need to state such in my reflections about daily life? No. It only needs to happen in reflections about death, or overall life (the concept of being… Read more »
“women as god intended them to be” ?? so… you mean submissive and blamed for evil in the world? women who are thought to bear the pain of childbirth as a punishment for what one fictional person supposedly did years and years ago? People are good without god. most of the time religions and their views only cause conflict- as almost every war in the world will show. God and religion is responsible for misogyny, racism, rape, homophobia, and violence. Why do you assume people need that role model, or the fear of burning in hell for disobeying “Him”, to… Read more »
Well, in the interest of fairness I’d suggest you go read a bit of the site first. The interpretation of God at GWP seems to be mostly about God’s love, etc. I haven’t seen mention of fearing God, or any of that. There’s no hellfire and damnation posts or anything.
The GWP is great. I give it two thumbs up. Even if you have a different faith, I think something can still be learned from it!
I wonder something about the GWP site. Are they articles going to be approx 50% about telling women that in order to be good women they have be more like men. If not, it isn’t a mirror to GMP. I love this site but lets face it, that is what GMP is. Some will disagree I am sure.
Oh dear…this isn’t on topic about the GWP and yet…and yet…must comment…muuuust comeeeeent… I don’t know about anyone else here, but I’ve felt pressure to be more masculine for the whole of the first 18 years of my life. It’s bizarre really…my mother wanted me to be more feminine, and yet the rest of the world seemed to be telling me that feminine was bad. Feminine meant weak and subserviant. It meant doing what you were told and keeping your mouth shut. It meant worrying about make-up and your looks all in the hopes of attracting some guy. I could… Read more »
I whole-heartedly concur. I have actually appropriated traditionally masculine behaviors and manners of speaking in order to further myself in my career, because feminine traits are generally not “leader material.” Learning about sociolinguistics helped me figure out what mannerisms are associated with power (typically used with men) and which are associated with submission (generally with women). Plus, if acting like a woman means getting in touch with your emotional side, then that’s just healthy. Just like getting in touch with my masculine side meant I gained more confidence. I think it would probably be better for everyone if they picked… Read more »
Hey John Sctoll,
I tried to email you using the email you’ve provided and it got bounced back. I want to talk to you further on the subject of how you see our site. Could you email me at joanna @ goodmenproject.com ?
Thanks!
Also, John, I have gotten the impression from many of the men on this site, through articles and comments, that they are not comfortable with the hyper-masculine macho stereotype that they are expected to conform to in order to prove their manhood. Most people assume the opposite of masculine is feminine, so if men are trying to move away from the hyper-masculinity, then they would be appropriating some aspects of femininity. So that 50% of articles may actually be in response to what readers want.
(obviously, insight from male readers would be much appreciated)
Hell yes about not liking some of the macho stereotypes. It’s not just that they don’t seem to fit me or I’m not comfortable with them. It’s that a lot of them want me to act like I’m an idiot, from my point of view. The macho stereotypes often suggest that I need to act anti-intellectual and take stupid risks if I want to fit in. If riding a motorcycle without a helmet is what a real man does, well, you can be a real man in a coffin and I’ll be the non-man consoling your grieving widow. Congratulations, you’re… Read more »
Men rejecting the hyper-masculine macho stereotype does not mean that they want to be feminine. There is a fine line between bravery and outright stupidity.
Me encanta la idea de que ambos sexos reconozcan diferencias..siempre y cuando sean entendidas a la luz de la biología y de la ciencia. Estas diferencias sabiamente contextualizadas nos pueden llevar a la comprensión y a la tolerancia plena mas allá de los juicios y conclusiones erroneas de ideología. Bravo… muy bien que haya este espacio honesto. Good ¡¡¡¡ !!!!
Weeeeelllll, seeing as we’re still getting posts about the religious aspect of GWP, and seeing as I am an extremely opinionated person, I think I’ll explain further about my hesitation in joining a site with a specific religious association. First I want to say that in of itself, having a website dedicated to discussing what makes a good women also have an affiliation with Christianity is not a bad thing. It is empowering and a completely valid platform for exploring that question. It’s limiting in that much of what will be said will mostly apply to Christian women, but it’s… Read more »
God did make women,wether they acknowledge it or not. The blueprint for living has been hammered out over centuries. I don’t think they’re gonna need a lot of men posting over there as they are likely presumed innocent as God intended. Meanwhile the gals here get to play nun4U and smack those free minded men about the knuckles! Well each religion to each owns I guess.. Kinda funny how some gals posted that the name implies women need fixin’. Now where did they get that idea from? It’s long overdue.(TGWP) Fix that beam in yur own eye before looking for… Read more »
I find it somewhat hilarious that women can’t celebrate/support/encourage other women unless they fit the right mold. And by hilarious I mean, depressing.
Way to go, Lauren! So proud of you and all the other open-minded Amazing Ladies at GWP who are intelligently, honestly, freely sharing Stories and wisdom, and empowering other women. Shout out to GMP too, you Guys are the cats pajamas.
Also, God is my favorite.
Love, love.
Ah, possibly a misunderstanding? I don’t know about anyone else, but I totally celebrate and support The Good Women’s Project. I was just saying that because of the religious aspect, I’m not 100% sure it’s a fit for me.
About the “God” part. I’m an agnostic who leans atheist, but I don’t necessarily mind a religious reference. It makes me suspicious, but to me it depends on where the religious view wants to take me. I’m a pragmatist even more than an agnostic — I want to know what the result is more than where you’re coming from. For example, if your religion is against murder, theft, and lying, and it encourages people to be compassionate, honest, and thoughtful, I don’t really care all that much how you arrived at those conclusions. If you’re getting orders from a supernatural… Read more »
Well I just visited the GWP site and want to tell that I could not find the name of Jesus written anywhere. Why you take the word “God” quite literally, it might metaphorically mean nature or any higher force controlling universe etc. BTW, the site does not feel very religious. I can really feel that some ladies cannot stand somebody telling them to be good.
Yep, that must be it,
Anyway thanks for confirming.
That was sarcasm by the way.
BTW, it is taunting.
My sarcasm?
No, not your sarcasm but my following comment is taunting.
Why taunt ?
Well I was raised in joint family where talking directly back to elders was not allowed, but slight taunting remarks were tolerated. It is a childhood habit for me.
That’s pretty funny, Rapses you young whippersnapper. Taunt away, I guess? Have a good night tonight and take care.
Dude. Seriously?
Ladies you have shown your true colors 🙂
So have you.
Dont play dumb. We’re talking about the God of the Bible. And this site has helped me and many other women. No one’s perfect, and Christians aren’t claiming to be perfect, obviously we need a site to help us be good…you get help the way you get help, we get help the way we get help. I urge any woman to read all the articles on the site and not come away with at least one new helpful insight. Not every article is screaming “im a Jesus freak”.
Which god of the bible? It says there are more than one.
Deuteronomy 6:14-15
Judges 11:24
Psalm 82:1-7
1 Samuel 6:5
Jeremiah 10:11
But now I’m concerned that my identity might need to be restored. I hope my true identity is as George Clooney’s long lost twin brother. What are the chances? Does it matter that he’s a decade older than I am?
Nickmmostly: all the same one, different attributes.
I’m sorry, that’s not true. Are you even familiar with those bible verses?
I forgot to mention that one of my past identities is that of the son of an ordained minister who was (is? I mean, they haven’t formally kicked me out yet) himself ordained. I’ve got a dozen more verses where those came from, and the Greek and Hebrew will back me up on them.
Nothing smexier than an ordained minister who realizes that the Bible is a historical document and wasn’t originally written in English. 😀
NickMostly, from the judges passage, Chemosh was “a” god worshipped by a cult that was hated by the Hebrews. In the Bible, he is represented as an idol of false worship. Which is something that is regularly warned against through the Bible. Chemosh had his ties with Solomon. And we all know what happened to him. The quote from Judges is not claiming that Chemosh is a recognizable “God”. It is mearly giving factual context to a cult of people that were wrongly worshipping a “god” they called “Chemosh”. It is actually giving commentary for those that believe in the… Read more »
You will notice that whenever false gods are referred to in the Bible, it is not capatilized. However, whenever “the” God of the Bible is referred to, it is capatlized. Well there’s the problem: you’re reading it in English, which means you’re accepting as “true” someone’s curation and translation of a number of different texts. Tell me which letters are capitals on P46? Who decided what is included in the bible (see Gospel of Thomas, Gospel of Judas, John 7:53-8:11)? When was it decided (see 1546 Council of Trent)? What is the primary issue in the split between the Jehovah’s… Read more »
Thank you Nick. Amazing stuff. History is filled with mysteries. Some have been kept mysteries for political purposes.
Hey Nick- I’ve seen all this stuff before. I’m very aware of Church history (the good and the bad), the Bible, the formation of the canon etc… I have absolutely no interest in further derailing this thread into some overblown (and overdone) apologetics contest. I will NEVER understand the bizarre evangelical bent of some of today’s athiests. Another thing I cannot understand is the automatic rejection of the site in question because they mention God. I once spent a very enlightening week in a Hindu Ashram (I’m not Hindu). I refrained from lecturing the people there about their beliefs and… Read more »
Some of my best friends are Christian. (I know, I know…but really. Truly they are. I’d tell you to ask them, but none of them are here just at the minute). I have had some amazing conversations with them about belief, about what it means to be Christian, etc. etc. So that’s not the issue. I think the thing about GWP, though, is not just that it mentions God. Instead it tends toward discussing a lot of issues through a Christian lens, as opposed to discussing them on a more mundane level. That is totally fine. More power to them.… Read more »
I sympathize with your frustration about all the levels of (mis)interpretation of the Bible over the years. I would say, though, that there really is no one single “book” to be interpreted correctly or incorrectly in the first place. There are multiple versions of writings that come to be called the Bible (and called other names in other languages). Some of these versions exist simultaneously in the same period of history. Some come closer to the earliest existing pieces of writing than others do, but there are multiple versions. Perhaps some are most similar to the earliest sources, but it’s… Read more »
Personally I prefer http://www.rolereboot.org. I considered submitting to The Good Women Project until I read a piece that was way too religious for my tastes. Don’t misunderstand me — I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a website having a religious affiliation or for a website to publish pieces with religious overtones; it’s just not for me. I think The Good Women Project is doing great things, and I’ll continue to follow them and read the work they publish. Kudos to Lauren for taking on this project.
My thoughts exactly. Good for her, and I’m sure there are loads of women who love her site. And I do applaud her stance on LGBT issues. She’s really quite supportive which is rare in that community. I like rolereboot too.
Lauren here. 🙂 Just wanted to pop my head in and say thank you, I really appreciate it. And seriously, feel free to submit anything you’d like. There’s a crazy amount of truth and “true things” that apply to women all across the board religiously and we’re opening up to post more articles in that arena. The Christian blogosphere gets pretty limiting pretty damn fast and Lord knows it’s not usually my cup of tea anyways.
So You’d welcome an article from a sex positive agnostic/ atheist, lgbt friendly, raging liberal with a sense of humor? I will say this I loved the piece on your personal blog about loving folks in the gay community. Peace is important and I’ll be the first to admit that Christianity trips me up in certain ways. I’ll email you.
Ahahah. My job as editor is to not care in the least who you are, simply to care about what you’re trying to publish on a website I’m responsible for. 😉 Submit away! And thanks. It kills me that a large part of the Christian community re-defines their definition of unconditional love for certain groups of people.
Of course now that I’ve made that comment above I’ve just read your comments, Lauren. lol. Hmm…I’ll be checking it out more. Maybe I can stir up some trouble there too. 😉 *joking*
Sidenote: Just read your 2 posts about Really (Really) Talking About Sex and your piece today. So, so good. Really enjoyed them. You’re a fantastic writer.
Thank you, Lauren. I appreciate that. I’ll email you tomorrow as I’ve got a show to prepare for tonight. Feel free to read my website and I’ll keep looking at yours. Good night.
It is really ironic that ladies are criticizing the Website good women project on Good Men site. It reminds me of a joke which goes like this:
First Lady: Why have not you married yet?
Second Lady: I was looking for an ideal man to marry.
First Lady: Did you find your ideal man?
Second Lady: Yes
First Lady: Then why did not you marry him?
Second Lady: Because he was looking for an ideal woman to marry.
Well done Ladies! Only men should work on their goodness, women are inherently good.
Many of us women out here are agnostics and atheists and don’t feel the need to visit sites that tell us that in order to be good women we need to take Jesus in our hearts. Good men are made up of men of all kinds of spiritual paths or none at all. Being a good women, to me, has nothing to do with organized religion. But if you find the site useful, by all means go enjoy it.
If there was an analog site to GMP that was GWP and focused on issues around femininity, gender and the politics of equity (including stories about women and focused on egalitarian feminism) I’d be way into that. Women and men both seek what it is to be good. That site’s definition and focus on Chrstianity is alienating to me. I’m sure others find it quite attractive.
Totally agreed! It’s not that they can’t have spirituality and religion as part of the discussion…but I’m wary when part of the mission statement involves a reference to a God. That just doesn’t jive with my outlook on what it means to be a good person.
Yeah…their “Let’s Talk About” sex article is about a woman realizing she was having empty sex and turning to God. That’s fine, but that doesn’t speak to me.
Hi Julie. I suggest you look up http://darlingmagazine.org/, then. However, I wonder if you have tested the waters for The Good Women Project, because many different types of women have written for them and I have been following from the start up of the site. Simply because Lauren is a Christian, doesn’t mean that the whole site is.
Well I just visited the GWP site and want to could not find the name of Jesus written anywhere. Why you take the word “God” quite literally, it might metaphorically mean nature or any higher force controlling universe etc. BTW, the site does not feel very religious. I can really feel that some ladies cannot stand somebody telling them to be good.
“Why you take the word “God” quite literally” ? I have to gather my thoughts here. Okay, “God” does not refer to any higher force controlling the universe. You do not get to just pick words and fit them to a definition. God clearly has a specific meaning, otherwise why didn’t they saw, “Allah” or “Mother Nature” or even “Goddess.” These words are not interchangeable, any more than Wiccan is interchangeable with Judaism. Second: if people are atheist, then any of those “higher power” things are going to turn them away. I would welcome an exact mirror image of this… Read more »
“The “Good Women’s Project” does not seem to be that mirror.”
That is for sure. No MRA would go there and preach ladies how to be good women.
When is the first GMP-GWP mixer… or softball game… or Thunderdome death match?
God? What? Kristin (MT) totally with you. I don’t suspect I’ll be writing for them. I’m quite sure they’d consider me a bad woman 😉
“We exist to restore a woman’s identity as God created her to be.”
Which woman? How did they find out that she needed her identity restored? And which God?
I think that the Flying Spaghetti Monster did a good job connecting me with my identity, and don’t see a need for a random stranger to fix me up to her own personal standards for me to get into the Good Woman club.
Yeah, Hestia? Freya? Ishtar? I’m fond of Athena and Artemis but I suspect Persephone is more my archetype.
I was excited to read about this until I saw the bit about a god being involved. I am good without God.
You seem to be literally God-fearing person.
It would seem you left an article out (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_articles) in what you said, so that may be causing some confusion, but if I read you correctly, you’re saying that I am a God-fearing person. You can’t fear something you don’t believe in. Do you fear unicorns?
No, I do not fear unicorns, but I fear boogeyman.
I don’t fear vampires, but I am afraid of people who think that they’re vampires. Same result. I’m not afraid of God, but “God” the idea is a powerful one that makes people do things that I’m afraid they will do.
Why is it that the very mention of God here makes everyone so uneasy. Do we all need to be Atheists to be good men and women? Does believing in something that brings us hope and peace make us a less respectable person? Maybe we just need to believe in SOMETHING. Lauren chooses to believe in a God. She believes in intelligent design. And the Good Women Project isn’t shoving that down anyone’s throat. She’s the founder of the website and simply stating who she is. We’ve really messed up Christianity, I know, because I’m a Christian, and I am… Read more »
https://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/the-good-womens-project/ I believe in Jell-O. Actually, I stole that from Penn Jillette’s This I Believe essay. If you want to understand why atheists bristle when God or religion are invoked as a reason for something, read the bible. It gets the single most important moral question of recorded history horrendously wrong. It literally portrays women as chattel. God commands brutality and genocide on a scale that awed Pol Pot and inspires the LRA. God commits genocide on a global scale. As a source of moral value, there’s more wisdom in any one of Mark Twain’s books than is contained in… Read more »
“But what if she were Muslim or Buddhist or Jewish and made the same statement about believing in a God? Would this discussion even be happening on here right now? Or is it only happening because Lauren chooses to believe in the God of the Bible?”
You might be interested to know that the Old Testament is common to Jewish, Muslim and Christian religions. They talk about the same god too. They just don’t name it the same. God, Allah, YHWH (or the name that must not be pronounced, aka Tetragrammaton), whatever you want it to be.
I’ve had a bit of an epiphany. I’m a feminist and I’ve experience a great amount of hair trigger response on this site from men and women both who do not identify with feminism and have extremely bad experiences with it not unlike my extremely bad experiences with Christianity. I have said, as have other feminists posting here, “But not me! I’m not like that.” to which the response is usually, “So? What are you doing about the feminists who are behaving in such terrible ways etc.” My reaction to most Christian posts, sites, churches like say, Mars Hill in… Read more »
Yeah, I looked up the GWP a few months ago and found the God aspeact unnerving. I have, like many, a personal relatiohip with God, which is no better or worse than any other person’s, BUT I don’t believe that only through God do we become or contiue to be good people. I really don’t need it shoved down my throat, and the GMP approaches life on a more human level. Sure God comes up, but (s)he’s not ‘the way’.
*relationship..my ‘hip’s are fine 😉
“Our generation of women is in the midst of an identity crisis.”
Anyone else get the feeling that everyone in our generation says they are in the middle of an identity crisis? Or is the internet just distilling our neuroses?
Well if you look at the massive shifting that’s going on with nearly every walk of life these days then it may not be too far from the truth. But I do agree that some people over it the identity crisis angle much like how “War against…” is over used.