Over the last month, I have been confronted by my dark side in ways I could have never imagined possible.
Generally, I consider myself an optimistic and upbeat person who redirects negativity towards positive and productive ends.
When I become passionate about something, I tend to charge in 100%.
Indeed, as I have evaluated my own psychological composition, an honest assessment reveals that I try not to give the Universe any logical reason to deny my will.
In other words, once I see an opportunity and become consumed with it, my strategic mind kicks on and systematically tries to align my actions in a way that rules out any possibility of failure for my desired outcome.
This aspect of my character has served me incredibly well in life. I rarely get caught up in evaluating options or analyzing a situation to an extent that paralyzes me from taking action
Rather, my tendency is to storm the beach, charge upon the shore and attain some position of defensible ground to analyze the landscape to plan my next moves.
Then, I blast through the inevitable resistance that discourages me from taking action. By doing so, I establish some momentum that carries me forward and further down the path.
It has resulted in starting a myriad of businesses, publishing many books, learning languages and establishing energetic and fun relationships.
However, there is a shadow side to this tendency.
A shadow side capable of hurting loved ones in some pretty profound ways.
When I am in the course of taking massive concerted action, I tend to have the blinders on. This prevents me from becoming distracted or veering off course.
It also has the ability to make me seem completely oblivious to, or worse, act with malicious intent towards some of my loved ones.
Of course, this is not my intention, but intentions are only good for so much when measured against actions.
So, my solution is to include some buffer in the relationship between my desires and actions.
Instead of becoming consumed with charging at full speed, I now seek to begin taking action, while simultaneously scanning my surroundings to detect possible conflicts that could result from my actions.
So, if I am talking with a friend about my excitement of publishing their book, and proactively put things in place to support that goal, I will also be aware that I could be making the business goal more important than the friendship.
With that awareness, the issue is easily defused by addressing it head on; “I just want you to know that I value our friendship 1,000x more than this book. If you have any concerns or hesitations as we go through this process, let us simply discuss them and decide the best course of action together.”
Something as simple as that example, nearly eliminates the possibility of questions and concerns being ignored in the interest of moving the book project forward.
After all, there is no easy way to broach the issue without it being emotionally charged and potentially disastrous.
So, perhaps the solution is to have a buffer in between desire and action. A “release valve” of sorts, allowing potential conflicts to be identified, discussed and defused before they become acute.
You do not have to know how to fix it yet, but identifying and addressing it takes away much of its influence on you.
At that point, the right course of action will become clear.
Therefore, it is the act of owning our dark side that lets us overcome it. Integrate them back into the light and move forward in full alignment with our integrity and values.
I welcome you to leave a comment to let me know your dark or shadow side.
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Photo credit: Pixabay
