Don't Oppose

In Aikido, Hanshi said, “When you defend, you can be defeated.” I don’t oppose the attack. I invite the attack, draw it to my center (ki). In my center, we are one, the same.

The bigger, stronger man grabs my right wrist to punch me with his right hand. I stand in profile. When he grabs my wrist, I move on the kensen (the line of attack). I match his attack in my attack. Awase. I don’t defend against the attack. I attack the attacker’s center.

In the center of the attack, I stand tall, stand straight. Well, I stand as tall as I can. I can apply kotegaeshi (wristlock) to myself and strike the attacker’s head in yoko iriminage or let the attacker pass. The attacker either takes the fall by applying the technique to himself or stands down. Both sides choose.

If I match strength against strength, I will lose against the bigger, stronger man. I wait it out. I match my attack with his attack. I don’t defend.

The bigger, stronger man punches at me or yells, “I’m gonna fuck you up!” I wait it out. I enter the attack, either physical or verbal, and die with honor. I don’t defend. I don’t oppose. I’m in the center of the attack, in what I fear. I choose who I am and what to do.

The man either threatens physically or verbally. Although I would like to, I don’t take him down with yoko iriminage. Everything quiet. I invite the attack to me. Don’t oppose the attack. Don’t aggress against the aggression. I give nothing to resist against. I open up. I don’t defend. I keep my heart open. The man chooses to continue his attack or to stand down.

O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” The man isn’t the real opponent. I am. It’s only me against me. I overcome myself. In life, attacks can be physical, verbal, or emotional. By design, all attacks are dangerous and scary, because we don’t know what to expect. That is what makes them attacks. Just saying.

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I’ve trained in Aikido for almost 35 years. I’ve faced literally thousands of physical attacks in my training. I enter the attack, get under what I fear. I take a glancing blow if I have to. It’s one time. The safest place to be is under the attack, in the danger. I choose who I am and what I do.

When I enter what I fear, I let go of the fear inside me, the fear of I’m not good enough. My fear inside may never completely disappear. Still, when I enter what I fear, I release more of that fear inside me. I heal me. I free me.

Being some badass isn’t about kicking someone’s ass. O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” That’s badass. I overcome myself. Not my attackers, not others. I work on me, not on them. I don’t defend. I don’t oppose.

I’m the reflection of the attacker. The attacker mirrors my anger, my fear, my weakness, and my doubt. That’s what I have to work on, not them. Nothing’s personal. Just train. Just saying.