4 Ways Caring for a Dog Will Test Your Relationship With Your Partner

My wife and I slumped on the couch and let out a huge sigh. We hadn’t slept soundly in over a week and were utterly exhausted.

You see, we had just adopted a puppy from a shelter and hadn’t expected so much work to be done. The puppy suffered from anxiety attacks, wasn’t crate trained, was teething, and had a poor previous owner who didn’t take care of him and abandoned him after a week.

Although my wife and I have a good healthy relationship and work well together, we weren’t prepared for the amount of effort in owning and caring for a 15-week old puppy.

Not to exaggerate, the first two weeks felt like hell and pushed us both to our limits. Thankfully, the puppy (as I type article) is sleeping soundly, and my wife and I can finally relax!

Here are the top four tests we experienced these past two weeks that allowed my wife and me to get past “hell week” and as a result, I believe, made our marriage stronger and healthier in the long run.

In fact, the research by Rover.com said that :

88 per cent of couples agree getting a dog requires teamwork and 65 per cent agreed it sees trust. Even more interestingly, 43 per cent of couples said they become more attracted to their partners after getting a dog.

#1. Communication is nice to have, but compromise is the golden ticket

Look, communication will always be on the top of the list in relationship articles about having a healthy relationship.

However, if both parties talk to each other until they turn blue, but nothing gets resolved the communication means nothing.

My wife and I quickly found this out the hard way when we first adopted our puppy. We had just taken him in and were starting to figure out who would take turns walking him. As my wife and I had different schedules we needed to work out a roster for his walks, and who would take him when.

#2. Emotions will flare, but how you both handle them will be the key

I have to admit, by Day 4, I had enough with our puppy.

I was running on fumes, had zero sleep, and our puppy was nipping at just being a rascal during dinner time. So when he pulled and jumped up, biting at my hand when I wanted him to calm down, I let out a huge exasperated yell towards my wife, saying, “I don’t know what to do! I have had enough!”

At the time, my wife was making dinner and turned to me and told me to finish making it while she took care of the puppy in return.

What a wise decision to calm me down!

While she took care of training the puppy, I resumed making the dinner. At first, I was fuming and angry at the puppy, but more importantly, I was mad at myself for not being a better trainer.

After I finished making dinner, my wife was able to calm our puppy and, luckily, me as well. Later, as we finished eating dinner, I thanked my wife for her help and knowing that I needed help to be away from a stressful situation.

Having a partner that will help you when things get crazy will diffuse the situation and make you aware of triggers that can cause your emotions to flare up.

#3. Mistakes will be made, and the facade of perfection will fade

“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones.”
— John Lennon

Call me a perfectionist, but I tend to like things to be well thought out and planned a week beforehand.

I am a person who loves to write on an Excel spreadsheet and plan every single item to complete detail.

But owning a puppy? Forget about it. The only certain thing is that nothing is certain. I have had to modify my schedule so often that I eventually gave up trying to track his meal, walk, and training time.

I usually pride myself on being prepared for any questions with my wife, which went out the window when we cared for the puppy.

What puppy insurance should we get? What type of leash makes him walk better? What shots does he need?

I had none of the answers to any of the questions, and it was uncomfortable, and initially, I was angry at myself for not knowing it.

However, as I talked to my wife about this and was honest that I didn’t know the answers, I was surprised she didn’t think negatively towards me when I admitted it. In fact, I don’t think she even thought twice about me not knowing the answers!

We are our worst critics, and the faster we admit that we don’t know the answers to questions, the easier it is to be in a healthy and less stressful relationship.

#4. You quickly will know if your partner is right for you when problems hit the fan

A puppy is just so unpredictable and (aside from having an actual human baby) is a perfect test to see if your partner and yourself can work through some intense, stressful situations.

You can’t leave it alone, and you have to care for it, but at the same time, you need to work with your partner as well. If there are any unresolved issues that you two might have, I guarantee that they will come up one way or another!

Studies have shown that:

60 percent of couples who own a pooch say their relationship has become stronger since getting one, while half say they now spend more quality time together with their partner thanks to their canine friend.

…

Final words

These past two weeks have been a huge roller coaster ride for my wife and me.

What began as an optimistic feeling of saving a puppy, turned into “hell week,” and now back to a much calmer and relaxing time with our new pup.

A dog specialist told us that we would laugh at these moments and miss the time our puppy almost drove us crazy one day. But, if there is one thing my wife and I can definitely agree on, is that we will never miss the ordeal our puppy put us through!

However, what we are both grateful for is the amount of time, compromise, and reflection both of us went through together, which will ultimately make us better partners in the long term.

Thanks to Kelly Eden, Ash Jurberg, and Nalini MacNab.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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