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What are Values? Values are deeply held beliefs that certain qualities are desirable. They define what is right or fundamentally important to each of us. They provide guidelines for your choices and actions.
Your core values determine what is really important to you. When you make the decision to follow your core values you cannot be easily persuaded to live against them.
To become effective in your life’s journey, you need to identify and develop clear and concise core values. Your core values are central in defining who you are, what you do and where you go. Once defined, your core values should guide you in every aspect of your daily life.
When you make a conscious decision to follow your core values, you cannot be easily persuaded to live against them. It is these core values that determine what is really important to you as a man. The surprising thing is that if you ask most men what their core values are, many would not be able to give you a solid answer.
Some would give you a list of values, but they would not be able to prioritize them. They will give you a list that sounds spiritual or politically correct, but they don’t come close to living them. In order to live your vision effectively, you must have a set of prioritized core values that guide your daily life.
Here are five steps to help you define and live out your personal core values:
- Clearly Stated
You should have a set of clearly stated and prioritized core values that guide your daily life. When you don’t know or you haven’t clearly defined your values, you end up drifting along in life. Instead of basing your decisions on an internal compass, you make choices based on circumstances and social pressures. You end up trying to fulfill other people’s expectations instead of your own. And before you know it, life has passed you by and you haven’t even started to live.
Trying to be someone else and living without core values is downright exhausting and leaves you feeling empty and frustrated. Conversely, living a life in line with your core values brings purpose, direction, joy and peace.
I have noticed that when I take the time to really think and meditate upon what I value as a man and then write those things down, I’m more likely to have the courage and confidence to make choices based on those values. There’s something about actually writing down your values that makes you more committed to living them.
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Conscientiously Chosen
Your core values should be in direct agreement with your purpose. It’s not enough to say something is a core value it needs to have an active influence over your behavior and actions. This is what learning to live on purpose is all about. For this very reason, it’s absolutely critical that you explore your personal values in detail in order to pinpoint what it is you value most.
This will help you find the right balance to live your life based on your highest priorities. When you come to understand your values, you can use them to make better decisions about your life and circumstances. This is advantageous because it can help you decide with more clarity what kind of career you should pursue, how you should spend your money, what kind of relationship you should search for, what people to connect with, where to take risks, what business to start and which goals to pursue.
Conscientiously choosing your values is very important because your values determine what you focus on, how you perceive reality, how you evaluate things, and what you will or won’t do, which essentially comes down to your behavior and the actions you take on a daily basis. If your values are not aligned with your daily decisions, choices, and actions, then you will miss the mark of living your vision with power.
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Committed Daily
There are numerous definitions for the word commitment. The most basic definition is that commitment is a binding agreement between the heart, mind and emotions that puts a man on a course of action toward living out his values. When you really commit to living your values, you will not allow the distractions of the world’s false promises to detour you.
Commitment to living your values is something that just doesn’t happen because you talk about it or write it down. It doesn’t progress because you say you want to accomplish a certain goal. It doesn’t happen because you follow your values for a week or two. Commitment is tested by your daily actions and not your words. If you have a job, then you should value doing the best that you can do while you are there. If you are married, you should value being a faithful and loving husband. If you are a father, you should value training your children to be effective and productive citizens.
When men authentically commit to living their values, they won’t let anyone or anything detour their progress. They won’t let the economy or the job market drain their energy. They won’t allow failure and doubt to hinder their journey. They will make a commitment from the heart and determine not to succumb to the intense pressures to give up, give in, or quit. Commitment is not something that happens because you dream of it.
Commitment is tested by your daily actions and not your words. If you have a job then you should commit to doing the very best that you can while you are there. If you are married you should commit to being a faithful and loving husband or wife. If you are a father or mother, you should commit to training your children in a Godly manner. If you want to grow in knowledge and wisdom, you must be committed to being a lifelong learner.
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Consistently Followed
You are responsible for consistently living your core values on a daily basis. Determine what is worth dying for and then make that the basis for your decisions. You cannot afford to waste another day not being committed to your vision. If you are like me, you have wasted enough time and energy being inconsistent. Your vision is screaming for your consistency. Your family is crying out for your consistency. Those that are connected to you that you haven’t met or never will meet need your consistency.
Because you commit to living your vision with consistency, do not automatically think everything is going to fall into place. Don’t think everyone that is close to you will support your efforts. Don’t believe that you are not going to encounter some struggles. Sometimes the exact opposite happens. Your life may get more chaotic. Things that used to work stop working. Individuals who said they were going to be with you leave you hanging. That does not mean you give up. It may mean that you are on the right track to living out your commitments.
- Constantly Evaluated
You should constantly evaluate your values to make sure you don’t need to reprioritize them or make adjustments. It’s important to note that your values will often change as you transition through different life stages.
Major life events can also change your values. For instance, a close family member passing away can shift how you think about your life, your path and how you think about others. This can change how you prioritize things and how you live your life. There are many life changes that can shift how you prioritize your values. For instance, your values will be different while you are in college, after you get married, have children or get older. Events such as these can shift how you think about things and how you prioritize your values.
Keeping track of your values is a great way to stay in-tune with your deepest needs and desires. What was once important may not be important any longer. As a result, you must alter your choices and decisions in order to match your highest values and priorities. Failing to take these steps can leave you feeling unbalanced, dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
There will, of course, be some values that will stay constant throughout your life. These could be values connected to your relationship with God, wife and children, your physical and mental health and financial stability. These core values are the values that determine how you live your life from the deepest recesses of your heart. These values will rarely change and are often ingrained in your psyche at a very young age.
There is no right or wrong way to document your core values and there is no magic number you should have. What is important is that you choose the right values for you and your family and you live by them daily. You should live by your values even when your life is in a season of confusion. You should live by your values when other men are not living theirs. You should live by your values when others are telling you it is fine to live the way you want because other men are doing their own thing.
Because you commit to living your values, do not automatically think everything is going to fall into place. Don’t think everyone that is close to you will support your efforts. Don’t believe that you are not going to encounter some struggles. Sometimes the exact opposite happens. Your life may get more chaotic. Things that once worked stop working. People who said they were going to be with you leave you hanging. That does not mean you give up. It may mean that you are on the right track to living out your commitments.
Once you establish your core values and start living them, watch your life begin to turn in a different and more progressive direction. Don’t get frustrated and quit living your core values if it seems difficult, but keep moving through the process.
Question: What are you doing right now to model and to teach your core values to your children and future generations?
“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” Roy E. Disney
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