I am a career therapist, with over 40 years experience counseling children, teens and adults of all ages. In the interceding four decades, I have worked in medical and psychiatric hospitals, nursing homes and community mental health, in educational settings, in home care and wrap around services, as well as substance abuse recovery and now for the past six and a half years in a group psychotherapy practice. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work that I sometimes call ‘Master of Saving the World’).
I began the journey while attending Glassboro State College (now called Rowan University), first volunteering and then getting a paid position at a crisis intervention center in Glassboro, NJ called Together, Inc. I answered calls on a 24 hour hotline and counseled teens in a runaway and homeless youth shelter. There, I cut my teeth on counseling and started to put my Psychology 101 lessons into practical application. I cringe at how green I was in the beginning, barely out of my own adolescence in 1979 when I began. I was a goodie two shoes who had a very different life than my clients. A stable home, no addiction, no abuse. Knew where my next meal was coming from. Knew that I was surrounded by love. It was from that abundant garden that I harvested nourishment to feed sometimes emotionally starving clients.
Together, Inc. was also where I allowed myself to be vulnerable and raw with my co-workers who became family of choice, most with whom I am still in touch all these years later. Each of us was pursuing a degree in either Psychology, Sociology or Education. Most of us created careers in human services of some sort. Some of us have retired. Some of us are still working full time (waving my hand here) and know that I will never fully retire.
Throughout the years, I have served people who I call resilient thrivers since they have bounced back from trauma and abuse and have gone on to help others. Some of my clients spent years awash in tears and sinking into quicksand. Some self medicated with all manner of addictive substances and behaviors. Some allow themselves to remain in dysfunctional and abusive relationships. Some have experienced profound loss and are grieving. Some attempted to end their own lives. Some witnessed others doing the same. Some are discovery their true identity beyond societal views. Some faced their own mortality from disease. I hold space for all of them to heal, I offer resources and ideas to get them to physical and emotional safety. I offer them acceptance and a witnessing presence. I tell them that if they don’t believe in themselves, they can borrow my belief in them.
I smile with delight when clients tell me that my voice is in their ear when they are about to make a self sabotaging decision and ask themselves “What would Edie say?” One client told me recently that I was like an angel on his shoulder calling him out on his negative thoughts, while the devil (the negative thoughts) was on the other. And yet another said I was their mirror, reflecting what they want to believe about themself. Accountability partner, is what another called me to help them with sobriety. Even after therapy has completed, I have run into former clients and they catch me up on how their lives are going. THAT is worth the long days and secondary trauma from hearing clients’ stories.
I saw a meme with a mug on it that read “Mental Health Professional Because Bad Ass Isn’t An Official Job Title,” and nodded knowingly since there are days when I feel just like that.
I have been thinking about what life would be like for the next generation if no child was EVER abused, neglected, limited in terms of what they could accomplish, told they wouldn’t amount to anything, that their creative dreams and desires were frivolous, unrealistic, that their spiritual gifts were bad or not genuine, if they were not exposed to tobacco-toxins and others’ addictions, if the adults in their lives learned to heal their wounds that they inherited from previous generations, so that they didn’t poison these precious young ones. Therapists would have to find a new line of work, or adapt their skills so that they would focus on vitality rather than pathology. In my practice over the years, I have seen how much damage is done and it is amazing that some people I know personally and professionally are more sane than they would expect to be, given their history. Good news is that history is not destiny. If we could see our way clear through those things, then violence would cease and no one need live in fear. You may say I’m a dreamer… I would much rather dream and take inspired action in every moment. How about you? Are you willing to do your part? Help because you can. Stop the cycle. Increase the peace.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: istock
