The following is a response I wrote to someone I’ve been messaging back and forth with about collective healing. She’s of the perspective that we must focus on women’s healing first, and I’m more of the mindset that we all heal as one. After writing a message that was largely sharing more about “my side,” I noticed that I wasn’t deeply empathizing with her experience, and I felt the desire to do so. Here’s what I wrote:
I’m feeling inspired in this moment to extend a bit of empathy to you, your little girl (inner child), and (energetically) to all women that have suffered at the hands of patriarchy (in the form of an apology)…
I’m so sorry for the ways you’ve been deeply wounded at the hands of male anger and “desire.” For the ways you’ve been treated like an object by desperate, insecure, power-hungry men that wish to use your body for their pleasure, as if their sexual fulfillment is your function as a woman on this planet, and then leave you lying there, disposable, worthless, their work with you complete.
I’m so sorry for all the men that have not honored you as the beautiful being that you are. That have not treated your body as a precious temple worthy of deep reverence and devotion. That have trampled upon your tender heart with their unconscious, self-serving behaviors. You are worth so much more than this. They do not deserve you. And you honor yourself as well as them when you do not let them enter from this level of consciousness.
I’m so sorry for the ways insensitive and violent male behavior has caused you to hide yourself from the world. To shut down the radiant beauty of your sexual desire, causing you to be grossly mislabeled as sexually dysfunctional. You are not dysfunctional, the world is, because it has not welcomed you as you are. It has not been safe to freely express yourself. It has not been safe to love.
I’m so sorry for all the ways that you are hurting, and while I cannot change the past or take away the pain, I can reflect to you that you have every right to feel whatever you are feeling in response to a world that has limited you, dishonored you, and treated you like “a something rather than a someone.” A “series of f*ckable holes.”
And I can also thank you. Thank you for honoring your capacity when it comes to recognizing what you need for your own healing and well-being. Thank you for taking care of yourself, even as you’ve carried the conditioned burden of feeling obligated to take care of others – others who have greater access to power and resources than you. And thank you for not settling for anything less than the respect and reverence you deserve. In empowering yourself, you empower us all. Thank you for serving humanity through your acts of self-love.
A version of this post was originally posted on TroyCohen.Wordpress.com and is republished here with permission from the author.