If you push too hard at anything, you get the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve. Everything contains its opposite.
– Patrick Swayze
I’m not really sure who said the above quote first. But I heard Patrick Swayze say it first, so I always attribute it to him.
It’s in a 1995 film called Three Wishes. It wasn’t his best or one of his most loved films by any means, but I guess I watched it at a time in my life when that quote spoke to me.
The film tells the story of a young, single mom(Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio) who takes in an injured drifter (Swayze) and cares for him as his leg heals. He turns out to be a sort of magical Guru that teaches Zen-like lessons to her young son.
And whenever I’m stuck, that quote inevitably pops into my mind.
Pushing too hard frustrates us, burns us out, and makes us feel and appear weak. Pushing too hard is desperation.
If I go to a job interview or an audition, it would be ridiculous to keep calling or emailing, asking if they’ve made a decision about me yet.
If a young woman gives me her phone number, it’s a bad idea to incessantly text her. That’s annoying. Or, to keep inviting her places if she’s already declined. That’s creepy and ignores boundaries.
If I’m running late and stuck behind an excruciatingly slow driver, I can try a risky move to pass them. But that’s REALLY pushing too hard. And could absolutely result in me not making it to my destination at all because I wrecked my Jeep.
Better to take a walk to diffuse the nervous energy of the job interview or find something to distract oneself from their crush.
And while driving, put aside the urge to break traffic laws in favor of yelling profanities out of the vehicle’s window.
I’m kidding.
Possibly.
Or I could leave 15 minutes earlier on my commute if possible, rethink my obligations, or simply accept that lateness sometimes happens. Like rain.
And I’ll just end on that last nugget of magical guru wisdom.
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Photo by Todd Quackenbush on Unsplash