Conception
Hello there. I see you’ve awakened from your deep and restful slumber. Why don’t you try stretching your arms, wiggling your toes and experience what I feel like. Gaze at everything, listen to everything. This is life, your life. Just be mindful not to cry, the other babies in the room will wake up. What’s that? Yeah no, I didn’t like that nurse either. Don’t worry, your parents should be here soon, then we can all go home. Until then, I’m here with you. We can be friends forever….not like we have a choice but yeah, I’ll be with you until the end.
Playfulness
Patience please. We’ve only been living for a couple years, so I’m a little fragile. I can see the spark in your eyes, the vibrance in your excitement. No, I can’t walk yet, crawling will have to do.
But since you’re feeling creative, I’ll work with you. Just be careful not to overdo it, otherwise I’d be forced to hurt you….and I don’t want that to happen.
Okay so here we go, let’s do it. Let’s recreate the world anew. Let’s take what we see, and combine it with what is possible to fashion events that the world has never seen before. I like that you’re enjoying all this colour, the magic of my 5 senses, take it all in, embrace the newness.
Ingenuity
Your imaginative persona is beginning to inspire me. I see you’re developing a sense of an inner subjective self, an identity that has built itself by absorbing various images taken from the outer world. Who knows, this imagination might help you become an artist later on in life, maybe a writer, or even a scientist. Keep going at it, keep exploring the depths of your consciousness, and remember to use me as your tool on your journey of inquisitiveness.
Don’t argue with your mum, she has a point you know. You need to feed me before going out to play. We’re a lot stronger now than we were a few years ago. We don’t need to conform to what society has us placed, we can come up with our own strategies and solutions. We can be inventive, channel our curiosity into being alive. So please, utilise me to your fullest. My abilities go way beyond swiping a seemingly angry red bird on that fancy tablet of yours. I was made to help you run, climb and craft for survival. Go out, and live in the real world.
Passion
You might be feeling a little weird around me now, given the changes I’ve been going through. What can I do? It’s ingrained in my physiology, an inevitable consequence of growing up. All these feelings running around, they’re called hormones. They can get annoying sometimes. But don’t let this get in your way. There’s a fire ignited within you, one that drives your emotional, cultural, sexual and spiritual passions. Embrace the zeal.
Enterprise
Time flies, doesn’t it? It seems like yesterday we were finding ways of climbing that big tree, or sliding across the playground. Things change. Now, you have accountability and a desire to do something great. I want you to know that whatever it is you want, don’t lose sight of what I’m worth. You’ve been feeding me the wrong substances recently. It’s all a facade, nothing more. Those pills you take, those toxins you drink, those cigarettes you smoke, all have one thing in common; they give you a temporary high. Inside, I’m fighting for our lives, trying to get rid of these poisons to ensure that you function well, and achieve those goals of yours. Remember when I mentioned how I’m a tool? Well, this tool needs sharpening now.
Contemplation
It seems that off late, you’ve let profits blur your ideologies of what’s right and wrong. I understand, you have a family, a job, responsibilities and everything. But you’re forgetting something. I’m the home you’ve always lived in, and yet you treat me this way. I came across this video recently, and it’s something that I deeply resonated with. I hope this hits you:
You keep talking about struggling with depression, stress and anxiety. Have you ever stopped to think about what might be the factors causing these? You preach about body-positivity and how you ‘love yourself’; but if you really loved me, you would take care of me. You would treat me like someone you felt responsible for caring.
Life
Here we are, at an unexpected end to this journey. Your family is outside, waiting for you….just like they were during conception.
I’m your only friend who can say that I was born with you, and that I’m going to die with you.
It’s sad though, that you won’t be able to play with your grandchildren. You were so fixated on the extrinsic aspects, that you forgot to pay attention to the intrinsic ones. Of all the investments you made in your life, you forgot to invest in the most important of them all, yourself.
‘Self-Love’: Gone Viral
Have you ever thought to yourself, what is it that makes us ‘us’? How can we know that the way we think and behave is intrinsic to our own personality?
Many of us often claim to not care about what other people think, but soon indulge in various activities succumbing to peer pressure. Many of us refrain from speaking out in public or in front of a large audience, because we worry about being judged.
Some of us might conceal this underlying truth under the identity notion of being an introvert. Some of us might willingly go out and distract others to prevent them from seeing this truth, calling ourselves an ‘extrovert’.
Then again, I might be completely wrong.
Social media has consistently been emphasising the terms ‘Be Yourself’ and ‘Love Yourself’. This seems to come from an ideology of acceptance that society has collectively agreed to. Yet, we’re visibly seeing increasing rates of depression, anxiety and suicides amongst young teenagers and even vicenarians, i.e. people in their 20s.
The way I see it, the moment we are able to align our actions to our ideals and virtues; the moment we can affirmatively make decisions that we believe are right, even if the rest of the world thinks them wrong, the moment we can sculpt ourselves into someone worth loving. Only then, can we firmly claim that we know what self-love is.
Identification and Acceptance
No one is perfect. Being perfect essentially means you have nothing to live for anymore. Famous author of the best-selling book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’ Mark Manson, says that we’re not special. The moment we stop believing that we’re special, we’d get rid of this idea that the world owes us something, and so can work towards making our lives better, and grow as individuals. Think about it, if everyone is ‘special’, no one is.
Often at times, we choose to share our our problems with others because we like the sympathy. We might not actively seek sympathy, but we like it. And in certain cases, this is absolutely justified, particularly when we’re talking about something beyond one’s individual control. For example, when a loved one passes away, or is severely ill, or when someone loses their job due to a crisis such as a pandemic.
This narrative changes however, when we’re talking about something completely within our individual control. Something that is a direct result of the choices you’ve made in your life. In this case, accepting the truth and/or communicating that to someone facing this issue is critical for yours as well as their well-being, and to help feel better about yourselves.
Living for Oneself
Are you someone that has benefited from research and experience to formulate a strong opinion about something, but are unable to voice it to prevent offending someone. Or are you someone who wishes to pursue a specific career path, something that aligns with your inner passion, and you refrain from doing so because of disapproval from certain people in your life.
In some cases, this can be justified. Typically, when we’re talking about financial struggles, lack of alternatives or the urge to do what’s necessary for the greater good. However, if you’ve ever been in a situation where you’ve been forced into making a decision that goes against your own ideals and values, just to please someone else. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not living for yourself anymore.
How sustainable is it for us to over consume toxic foods, alcohol and substances that have no benefit whatsoever on our body other than a momentary hit of dopamine. How will this affect our cognitive functions, memory, ability to process and retain information when we’re out there looking for or giving an interview for our dream job, or trying to get that promotion. How would our self-care, health and hygiene along with our hedonistic values of life help us find true love, a partner who we can share our life with. Does success come at the cost of our own mental and physical well-being?
I don’t think so. I believe in moderation, in every aspect of our lives.
Make it Happen
From a technological standpoint, our world has never been more developed. The internet is arguably the greatest invention of the 20th century, and maybe even one of the greatest inventions of all time. The world is full of amazing people, who willingly share their skills and abilities for the betterment of society.
For me, self-love is more than just an Instagram story of me binge watching the new Netflix web series while indulging in junk food for days on end. For me, this body that I’ve been blessed with is a direct reflection of my lifestyle, and therefore I believe it is my responsibility to take care of it.
Is it selfish to put your needs over someone else’s? Some would say yes, I say no. For those of you who are already pursuing what they love, without foregoing your mental and physical well-being, I applaud you. For those who might be struggling to make time to look after yourself, it’s never too late to start.
Start now. You deserve it.
If you enjoyed reading this, head over to my website and check out my blog. Everything you read so far, was a summary of what we covered in episode 2 of The Modern Z podcast. Here are the links:
Direct link to blog: ‘Being yourself’ vs. ‘Loving yourself’
Link to podcast (also available on Apple Podcasts & Spotify): TMZ Episode 2
Our website: The Modern Z
Do like and follow us on social media: Facebook and Instagram
If you’re a student, nervous about the future, worried about your thoughts, or overwhelmed with your beliefs, you’re not alone. The Modern Z is a platform dedicated for students to share ideas, stories and experiences that we can relate to and resonate with. Tune in now, and join the people of the future.
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Previously published on medium
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Photo credit: by Shelby Miller on Unsplash
