Yes, I’m going there…)
How do we know someone in an abusive situation isn’t in a perfect situation for them?
Because it seems wrong?
Because we don’t like it?
Because it hurts to think about the harm being done?
Because there’s a cultural narrative around this obviously not being okay?
Get out now
Black and white
What if this assumption invalidates someone that is choosing to stay in “an abusive situation”?
To stay with “an abusive partner”?
What if, on a level beyond the logical mind, on a soul level perhaps, they are drawn to stay?
They may not understand it
Parts of them may disagree and want out
But something in them is urging them not to walk away
We may not have all the answers
We may not have access to another’s inner guidance
Things may not be as obvious as they appear
We may not know what is right or wrong for another
Or even for ourselves, at times
And when we say we do know, we could potentially be creating more “harm” than the abuser by invalidating another’s “choice” and attempting to guide them away from a potentially potent, divinely desired experience
And if we find ourselves experiencing abuse and choosing to stay, we may be invalidating and “harming” ourselves through this righteous perspective
Through our arrogant assumption that we know what is right and wrong, and our attempts to convince ourselves or another of this
We may ultimately be “the abusive one”
… dare I take this one step further?
And risk this potentially resonating for fewer people?
Yes, I do…
How do we know abuse is bad, wrong?
Because there is an experience of pain?
How do we know this pain isn’t “medicine”?
How do we know “an abusive experience” isn’t a catalyst being celebrated by the soul?
How do we know the abuser isn’t playing their role perfectly?
How do we know they are not being ecstatically celebrated and revered for what is experienced as a divine contribution by “the victim” from a different point of view?
What if Hitler is more celebrated than Jesus?
Because it is much easier to “be the light”?
Much more challenging to perhaps slow our vibration for the purpose of a darkly divine soul mission
What an immeasurable blessing for another to offer us such a radiant gift…
Even if none of this is “true,” what transformation may be possible in the presence of this potential?
What if we went so far as to celebrate “the abusers” for their divine contributions?
What if we celebrated everything, EVERYTHING, as divine?
What might become of this world?…
Celebrating everyone and everything as divine would not mean the end of boundaries
It would not mean we do not, perhaps fiercely, express our no
It would simply mean we do not demonize those that do not respect our boundaries and our no
We do not assume them to be evil, their actions to be wrong
We don’t become “evil” by judging them as evil
By closing our hearts to them and potentially contributing to creating them to be “what they are”
Perhaps if we’re going to assume anything, we might assume that their “crossing of our boundaries,” their “violation of our no,” is a divine gift
Something we may be desiring from an expansive point of view
Who is the “I” that doesn’t want the “abusive experience”?
Is it possible that there is another I that has access to a “bigger picture” perspective?
An I that desires the experience?
An I that is in ecstatic celebration of
If your answer is
“No, that’s not possible
Some things are clearly wrong and not desired”
Who is the one offering this black and white perspective?
Is there tension in the experience of this thought?
Could this be because it “isn’t true”?…
What if the pain we experience is largely not in response to “the abuse” itself, but to our interpretation of the abuse?
If we celebrated the fights, if we celebrated the bruises, the broken bones, physical and metaphorical
If we assumed all of this to be a divine gift worth celebrating
How might this transform our experience?
How might this transform the “choices” of “the abusers”?
What might become of abuse if it were no longer considered “a bad thing”?
If “abusers” were no longer considered “bad people,” were no longer violently labeled?
What becomes of something in the absence of judgment, resistance?
In the presence of it being welcomed and celebrated as a divine gift?
How might this transform the planet?…
This perspective is not intended to invalidate any other perspectives on abuse
It is merely offered as something to consider, to feel into, if you so desire
A point of view that may run parallel to other, seemingly contradictory, points of view
All part of our multi-dimensional All inclusive shared reality…
Let’s honor and celebrate all perspectives
Let’s celebrate the one that thinks what’s being shared here is a bunch of fucking bullshit
Maybe even dangerous
Let’s validate and celebrate any and all perspectives that have arisen for the one that has experienced abuse, that has experienced so much pain from this
Let’s celebrate her courage, her resilience
Let’s celebrate his desire to fucking murder his abuser, all abusers
Let’s celebrate the authentic experience
Whatever it happens to be
In the end, perhaps celebration will be “discovered” as the only “logical choice”
Our organic response to all of life
For we may remember that there is ultimately nothing else for anything to Be but Divinity
Our divine heart
Our divine desire
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Photo courtesy iStock.
This post previously published in Troy Cohen and is republished with the permission of the author.