Last night I sat in my home office with both hands hovering over my laptop’s keyboard, wishing there was an emoji that “nodded furiously in agreement.” If only Facebook would add a “Like” emoji version 2.0 that hopped up and down in approval, I thought.
I had to settle for words on this one. The reason for my approval? A Facebook post by Derek Steele, a Michigan father of three children, including two boys.
Steele watched on CNN as former New York City Mayor, Rudy Giuliani tried to explain away Donald Trump’s recent vulgar and abusive words on a leaked video recording by saying, “Men at times talk like that.” Steele couldn’t believe what he was hearing. So he opened up Facebook and began to type a status. It was a status he hoped would find its way to the eyes and hearts of his two young sons some day in the future when they were old enough to have their own Facebook profiles.
Since the leaked video recording from 2005 between Donald Trump and Billy Bush hit the airwaves last week, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around it. I made the mistake of watching the clip in its entirety, and then felt like throwing up. The despicable and degrading way the two of them carelessly banter back and forth about another human being, as if she’s a piece of property, is too much to take. It’s disgusting, it’s vile, it’s inhuman!
As a writer, I simply had no words (or at least words I could put in print). So many emotions stirred in me. I felt angry, sad, and shocked. I thought about our country. This is the person some want to occupy the highest office in the land? I thought. How can we, a country built on integrity and strong character, justify that? Then my wife and daughters flashed through my mind. I thought about what I would do to the guy who ever said words to them like Trump said in the video.
After reading Steele’s Facebook status, I found words. He expressed to his sons exactly what was spinning in my heart and mind. It was my exact feelings on this whole video disaster. Steele writes:
Men do not, at times, talk like that. Sure some individuals with an X and Y chromosome like you may say something like that, but we do not call them Men. We call them perverts, abusers, or rapists—not Men. Real Men don’t do that and wouldn’t even think to say that.
You will hear a lot of people tell you what Men do or what it takes to ‘be a Man.’ The vast majority of it will be total garbage. If you want to be a Man, forget about machoism or sexual conquest. Being a Man is not about that. It’s about protecting those around you who are weak or innocent—maybe a child being bullied or your own children.
Yes, Steele, a million times over—YES, YES, YES! We aren’t called to demoralize, belittle, or insult. We’re called to protect, build up, and lift up—with our words and with our actions. What kind of a man uses his words, his influence, or his platform to say the things Trump said? And what kind of man stands by and dismisses them as things “men say at times”? Derek Steele doesn’t say them—and neither do I. Frankly, all of the men I call close friends have never spoken the words Trump said to their wives, girlfriends, fiancés, sisters, or acquaintances.
Do you want a portrait of a what a real man actually does? As Steele writes:
Men get puked on, pooped on, bled on, and cried on. It’s about being open with someone, vulnerable, and accountable. It’s admitting your mistakes and failures—in all its ugliness—and seeking forgiveness, over and over and over again. Real Men play dress up and enjoy tea parties and will make a complete fool out of themselves just to hear a child laugh. They cry, even weep, when the situation calls for it. They respect, honor, and cherish women because all of them are human—created in the image of the Creator.
This is what real men do. This is what makes a man a man. When we can, in humility, consider others around us, especially the amazing women in our lives, better than us, we’re better humans for it. When we can choose to be a servant instead of a tyrant, a supporter instead of a steam roller, a lover with our words instead of an abuser with them, we become what we were created to be—human. In a simple Facebook post to his sons, Derek Steele captured what Trump completely destroyed with his vulgar and despicable behavior: the character and heart of a real man.
h/t: Upworthy
Originally published on Babble
Photo—mendolus shank/Flickr
SJW Blather & Prattle – turn on the Mtv for a bit, watch a Beyonce, Lil Kim, Rhianna, Fifth Harmony or even the cough grinding Selena Gomes. – PS what were Bill and Monika doing on the Oval Office desk 20 years ago? Let’s cut the crap – if you are going to grind the axe – then Clinton RAPES and Sexual harassment cannot be off the table – explain to your son’s how Hillary has covered them up, lied about them, paid settlements and left a trail of dead bodies in her wake.
Perhaps an open letter to his daughter about Hillary strong arming, degrading those women who were abused by her husband. Maybe include her calling out the Benghazi parents and demeaning them? Mr. Berry, what say you about Hillary?
Boris, there is clearly a double standard here, a blatant double standard much less. A lot of the double standards emanate from the media which according to countless surveys state that main stream media can’t be trusted.
So you care about women who are abused by others Tom? That’s why you support trump? Because you are concerned about women and you believe trump to be a good example of masculinity and a good leader? You’d want your daughter to be left in the same room as trump? You support him when he got caught bragging about sexual assault? You support him when he walked in on underage pageant contestants? You support him when he calls women bimbos and fat and ugly? And you support him when he sexually objectifies his own daughter? This is the man you… Read more »
Why don’t you answer Tom’s questions first.
And in case you’re wondering no I don’t support Trump in anything he does. I just don’t understand why his sins somehow absolve Clinton’s
8ball, I think that’s what bugs me the most about all of this is that Hillary and her ilk walk around acting like she all innocent. She’s anything but innocent. I’d say that Hillary is playing the game right but SHE isn’t … the main stream media is doing it all for her. “WASHINGTON, D.C. — Americans’ trust and confidence in the mass media “to report the news fully, accurately and fairly” has dropped to its lowest level in Gallup polling history, with 32% saying they have a great deal or fair amount of trust in the media. This is… Read more »
I do care about those women and that’s why, in the past my wife and I took in abused women as staged housing so that they could get away from the men that abused them. Contrary to Hillary, I believed these women and didn’t berate them or attempt to use power to discredit them The women you want in office who claims to be FOR women, You want her lack of support for the abused? You want to vote for a women who discredits the abused? You want a women in office to assure that an unborn child NEVER have… Read more »
I want to join selective service. I always thought it was completely unfair to men to REQUIRE them to sign up for selective service, but somehow women didn’t have to? What a bum deal. We’re citizens too and should be expected to serve the country the same way men are. It certainly hasn’t been detrimental in Israel. Also, the right to have a safe abortion IS necessary. While using abortion as your “pregnancy prevention” plan is immoral, there are too many cases where that’s not the case. There’s the 13 year olds and the rape victims who didn’t have choice.… Read more »
There is nothing stopping you from joining up My Niece is in Afghanistan The point is though, is that most women in the US are not willing to sign up much less willing to be drafted That’s the truth of all this.
Hillary gets in, I will be the first in line to demand she implement mandatory sign ups for women.
I’d love to hear GMP’s take on this as well, given that they are a self proclaimed feminist site.
This is the man women like you PUT in office and the women BEHIND that man is who you want in office now . The pattern is horrifying. And according to more than one of these alleged victims, Hillary Clinton is Bill’s enabler and the chief protector of their abuser: The Clintons’ “systematically abuse women and others – sexually, physically, and psychologically – in their scramble for power and wealth,” says [“The Clintons’ War On Women”] press release. Kathleen Willey – Sexual Assault Kathleen Willey … made a splash in 1998 by claiming in a ’60 Minutes’ interview that Bill… Read more »
You’re barking up the wrong tree Erin. It’s not discussion of verbal assault of women. It’s the actual corruption of this particular woman. Let’s get something clear. I don’t like or support trump. But I’m voting for him. Given the circumstances. Terrible circumstances. But that woman. Lol sounds like Monica Lewinsky no? But if you have an ounce of integrity. You will see this too. Comey I think is a basically decent man. I think he rues what he’d done before because of that. This came out because what he saw will come out. He’s trying to save his ass… Read more »
Hillary Clinton raped someone? What does Beyoncé and their popstars have to do with how trump represents masculinity and the people who makes excuses for him? Please remember that Trump walked in on underage pageant contestants, he calls women names regularly – bimbos, ugly, dog faces, fat and much worse, he sexually objectifies his own daughter and sometimes he does it with other men who equally sexually objectify her, he has a pending investigation toward a possible rape of a 13 year old girl, he has told several girls as young as 10 that he will be interested in dating… Read more »