As an author Luke Davis has had his eyes opened and realizes he now owes an apology.
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This past week has been a rather large lesson for me. I spent some time trying to imagine myself in women’s shoes so I could try and convey a point that “Not All Men” didn’t seem to understand. The result of that was that very few men listened to what I had to say. For a brief period of time I actually had to walk in your shoes and I have to say those high heels, they absolutely killed my ankles. I only took a few baby steps in those heels and frankly I don’t know how you put up with us. We can be daft, ignorant, defensive and deaf as doorposts when we want to be.
This post is my apology for all the times in the past when I haven’t been listening, when I haven’t understood what it’s like to be the center of attention while men are cat-calling, what it’s like to be groped on public transport or in a bar, what it’s like to always be surrounded by people who are physically stronger or the thousands of other horrible things I have read on #EachEveryWoman.
Some things I understand, I have been through a lot, but for the rest I will do my best to listen from now on. I’m still going to try and fix things that I think need fixing, that’s a part of my nature but I am going to try and take the time to hear what you have to say as well. That sometimes things are just shitty and scary, that there isn’t always something I can do to help, it’s just life, you have it covered and yeah sometimes it sucks.
I am going to work on my end to try and make the world a better place. As much as possible to be decent and stand up against what I see as fundamentally wrong. I’m going to continue to write in the hope I can convince my fellow man, possibly only one man at a time, that being decent isn’t a trip to the top of Mt Everest. Most of all instead of being defensive, arguing that I’m not like that other person, I am going to do my best to hear what you are trying to tell me. Sometimes I won’t always succeed but I will try.
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Photo credit: (altered) Flickr/Joseph Gilbert
Luke, I think it’s unfortunate that you feel you have done things, said things (or omitted doing things in your dealings with others) that now makes you feel like you have to personally apologize to a whole demographic (by either yourself, or on behalf of your own demographic). I think we all, every person, wants to change the world for the better, in our own ways- I think it goes without saying ‘we won’t always succeed but we’ll try.’ So, as such, to over-emphasize that at the end just comes across a bit too much like playing the martyr there. … Read more »
You are the bomb. Thank you. I’ve listened this week too…I have been asking my male friends why this kind of response has happened, and I’ve gotten some very insightful comments from some very good people. I’m processing them, and while I stand for everything I’ve said (though in a less angry way :/ ) I will go forward considering life from the male perspective more than I had.