Rob Gould orders two brownies. Hilarity ensues.

Whole Foods Bakery Associate (WFBA): Can I help you?

Me: I’d like two of those huge brownies on the top shelf pleasee.

WFBA: Would you like them in a bag or a box?

Me: You can put them in my hand.

WFBA: Both of them?

Me: Yes, both of them. Please just hand them to me.

WFBA: Do you want a napkin or anything? (Passing me the two brownies.)

ME: No, thank you. I’m all set.

WFBA: Please bring this label to the cashier. (Passing me the barcode/pricing label.)

Me: Thank you. Do you realize you’re staring at me with your mouth open?

WFBA: Sorry, will there be anything else?

Me: Got any morphine back there?

WFBA: Fresh out.

Me: Thanks anyway.