When we have a nasty, horrible job to do, unless we’re Mike Rowe the Dirty Jobs guy, we generally try to put it off. No one likes to tackle the uncomfortable or painful tasks of life right away. It’s a very human thing to put them off, on the off chance that “someone else” will take care of them, or the situation will resolve itself. But that’s exactly what the productivity masters say we should not be doing.
In my personal experience the longer I put off the things I don’t want to do, the more ugly and painful they become. Conversely I’ve also learned that when I confront the worst, hairyist, ugliest, most humiliating, shameful things quickly – it’s not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.
Brian Tracy, the leadership expert, wrote a book once called Eat That Frog. The principle of the book was that if you have something you don’t want to do, do it first. If you have to eat a frog, get it over with as soon as possible. If you have to fire someone, do it quickly. If you have to correct someone, don’t let it sit and fester – get on it, get it done, and get on to the next thing.
I have had to fire people. It’s nasty work. You know you’re ruining someone’s week, causing them financial distress. I know they’re going to either cry, or get angry and I don’t want to deal with either of those situations. But I also know that if I put it off, I’m not doing them any favors, and all I’m doing is living in the agony of knowing that I have to do this thing that is painful, so I’m just hurting myself.
When I’m working with my personal development clients I always encourage them to share with me the worst, most humiliating, shame-ridden thing they’ve got as soon as possible because I know that once they have dug deep and released the worst stuff, the rest of it comes out easier. It’s like lancing a boil, once you’ve broken the skin, it’s a lot less painful because the pressure is released and the sickness can get out of the body.
It’s like lancing a boil, once you’ve broken the skin, it’s a lot less painful because the pressure is released and the sickness can get out of the body.
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Our fears are the spiritual sickness that we need to deal with and treat just like they were a boil. We have to confront the worst ones right away. Whatever you are most afraid of – that is what you should do right away. I say this for two reasons: 1) Like lancing a boil, once you’ve beaten the worst fear, all the other ones are going to be easier to deal with and, 2) You are only hurting yourself by sitting in the fear. A fear that you allow to continue to remain in your life, or even grow, is only stopping you from the life you want. It may be hurting the people you love and care about, but the primary casualty of your fears is you. Whether it is that romantic interest you wish to have, or a financial accomplishment, or even just something as basic as becoming the best you possible – your fear is holding you back – so confront it head on.
Name it. Define it. Dig in to how it’s affecting you and your life with a simple inventory checklist, a dictionary and a dream board. By putting a name to your fear, you are starting to put boundaries on it, which is important because then you can see how big it really is, or isn’t. By defining it, you are continuing to see exactly what you are dealing with and how to put a stop to it. A dream board is what life would look like without this fear – what would you accomplish, who would you have in your life, what would you be doing.
It’s never easy to change our habits, and especially when the habit is putting off the things we don’t want to do, but if we can get in the habit of eating our frogs first, facing our fears and working to define them, and see what they are stopping us from having, being and doing, we can move past them.
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