Let’s be real with ourselves for a moment. Can anyone realistically on the face of this entire planet honestly say they’re completely and utterly happy ALL the time?
I mean sure, some have learned to maintain an even-keeled level of calmness and contentment in their lives (in fact I’m one of them), but as far as feeling absolutely 110% happy with circumstances, situations, people and things go?
Well I feel that’s a bit of a stretch and unattainable reach for any human, but being we’re persistently sold this story that we all need to somehow capture and continually embody this ever-eluding and seemingly evasive thing mislabeled by society as “happiness,” or otherwise you’ll be forever doomed to a life of never-ending misery is total bullshit, and if trying to feel happy all the time is a continuous pursuit of yours, well I can tell you right now that this way of flawed thinking is the PRIME SOURCE of ALL your unhappiness.
The attempt to attain happiness is an endless chase and an exhausting, frivolous mission that only leaves you feeling even more empty and unfulfilled than before.
But by any means, this is not a free pass to become some despondent, disgruntled, hateful cynic who shits on themselves and everyone’s dreams, because while maintaining a constant state of happiness ALL THE TIME may not be an option, the choice to endure a life riddled by spiteful suffering always is.
You don’t need to suffer ever. Suffering is a choice and is often linked to the mindset that just screams “I am a victim,” and I for one have chosen to exclude myself from participating in that lame, blame game any longer.
Am I happy all the time? Nope.
But am I imprisoned to a life of suffering either? No indeed.
So what am I then? Well if I must slap a label on it, I’d throw myself into a category of contentment. I am extremely content with myself, my life, and the direction it’s going.
I’ve became far more content with who I am and my life by allowing myself to let go of the notion that a constant state of happiness is something I must maintain or else something’s wrong and needs fixing if I don’t, and by learning to change out my old thought patterns and reset them with new, more positive belief systems, I was eventually able to overcome 10+ years of severe depression and anxiety, and who the heck wouldn’t be happy about that?
Now, does this mean I’ve completely conquered all my unpleasant emotions and banished away every single uncomfortable sensation I ever had in connection to this period of my life? No. I experience occasional symptoms that serve as eery reminders of my years which I believed were lost to an inescapable state of hopeless depression.
Now when distressing reminders pay me a visit, I treat them differently than I did during my 10+ years of depression. I no longer turn them away, feel guilty, ashamed, or like I’ve done something wrong to deserve punishment. I actually throw out a welcome mat of acceptance and embrace them by inviting them all in for a cup a tea. Sure we’ll shoot the shit for a minute and realize how incredibly incompatible we are … 9 out of 10 times they show themselves out the door with little to no resistance, and very little effort of my own.
I don’t allow myself to be held captive by my feelings and emotions anymore. I just maintain a simple state of awareness as to what these sensations are, and how more often than not, their entire purpose of visitation is to show me some of wounded stories I still hold within me that cause a false sense of separation and a disconnect from reality, because the world as I’m seeing it in these moments are nothing more than an external reflection tainted by all the conflicting emotions I feel internally.
I know this is only what I feel in a particular moment and there’s no need for it to shape my world or the way I perceive everything in it. They always pass and will ever change if I allow them to ebb and flow freely.
There’s zero need to attach meaning to why you feel a certain way. It just is what it is, and there is no need for any explanation, validation, or meaning beyond the fact that it’s just how you in that moment. It doesn’t need to define you and it is a choice to attach a story to certain situations, people, things, and places. And yet, your need to attach meaning is another root source of unhappiness and cause for needless suffering.
The role of men is changing in the 21st century. Want to keep up?
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