Jack the Dancing Man

There once was a fellow by the name of Jack, and Jack absolutely loved dancing. He would dance at the supermarket, sneaking a kiss on his bunch of bananas before slipping them gently into his grocery cart. He would dance at the gas station, spilling toxic fuel on the people around him as he twirled his nozzle through the air. He danced in his pajamas, waking his wife at the coldest hours of night. He danced in his coveralls, making his co-workers pick up the slack he left behind.

One day, as Jack shimmied on down the street, he took a bad step and found himself accidentally colliding into a very, very old woman. She had a cane and walked halfway bent over, so when Jack collided with her, they both fell to the ground.

Now, you would think this old lady was done for, but no. She popped right back up, furious as a hornet.

She smacked Jack on the leg with her cane and said “Darnit laddie! Don’t you watch where you’re going with that shameful dance of yours? Old ladies aren’t supposed to be run into! You know that!”

Jack was so, so sorry. He said, “My apologies ma’am, just is when I’m dancin’, I don’t know up from down, that’s the truth!”

“What’s your name, boy?” Snapped the old lady.

“Er… I’m Jack…”

“Jack, eh? I’ve heard of you, Jack. Your dancing is always causing problems around here. Young children see you kissing produce at the grocery store. You endanger everyone at the gas station — people aren’t flame proof you know! You wake up your wife at the coldest hours of night, when she should be resting! Your co-workers all want you gone — their work is harder when you are there!” She pointed her cane at his nose, and with slanted eyes and a chilling voice, said, “You mark my words, Jack the dancing man, by this time tomorrow, your dancing days will be behind you.”

Jack didn’t know what to think about that. He was oh so sorry for bumping into that scary old lady, but he loved to dance more than anything! How could he ever stop? As he continued walking down the street, he came across a building he had never noticed before.

“Well that’s weird” he said, “I thought I knew this town inside and out…”

On the sign outside the building were big, bold letters:

– BEST DANCING PARTY EVER TONIGHT –

“OH BOY!” Shouted Jack. “I can’t miss this for the world!” He shimmied on down the street to his home, where he put on his very best dancing clothes.

His wife said, “Why are you getting all dressed up?”

“Because there is a dance party tonight, and I gotta go!”

“Oh Jack,” said his wife, “I wish I could go with you, but I’m so tired, I just want to get some rest tonight.”

Jack was ok with that. Not having his wife around never stopped him from dancing before. So off he went, for the BEST DANCING PARTY EVER!

When he came up to the building, there were no cars or people to be seen. He was so confused… “Why don’t people want to be at this dancing party?” he asked himself. The building didn’t look like it was even open. He couldn’t see any lights on or anything.

He decided to try the door, just in case — what did he have to lose? He pulled on the handle, and to his surprise the door swung open and there he found himself in the middle of a huge, crazy, energetic, dance party!

“Yippee Hi Ho Howdy!!” he shouted, and he jumped right in and was immediately filled with joy! His legs and arms shot out in every direction to music he hadn’t ever even heard before, but which was marvelous music for dancing.

Song after song played, fast, jumpy songs, slow, sad songs, romantic songs which made him miss his wife, and funny songs which made him miss his work buddies. He started to wonder when this dance party was supposed to end.

He came up to a stranger and asked the time. “Why, I haven’t thought of time in over two hundred years!” And the stranger danced off to the punch table.

Jack thought that was a strange thing to say, but brushed it aside and asked another person, a fine-looking young lady, what time it was. “Ha!” she laughed, “Time is what got us in this mess in the first place!”

Jack was starting to get a little worried. Deciding he had better start heading home, he made for the door. It wouldn’t have been a half bad night, except for when he opened the door, all the people in that building, all those happy dancers, well, they disappeared. He almost screamed! He slammed the door shut behind him and started running home. He looked behind his shoulder only once, and once was enough to see that the building itself wasn’t there anymore either!

He scurried home quick as he could, slipped into bed next to his wife, whom he had never been happier to see, and lay there shivering for the rest of the night. When his wife woke up the next morning, she said, “Wow! I slept so well! I can’t believe you didn’t wake me with your dancing last night!”

He said to her, “Don’t you worry. I think I’ve had enough dancing for a while.”

And with that, he was able to turn his life around, and stop bothering so many people with his dancing.

The End

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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