Make Your Bed

How often have you questioned your reason for being here? How much confusion have you suffered in the face of your ever present future? I can suggest that there isn’t a person alive who has not sat on the question of their own existence.

-“Why have I been put on this planet?”

-“Why did I survive?”

-“What am I supposed to do for the rest of my life?”

The answer can never be just given to a person. As much as we would enjoy the ease of such knowledge, it is rather one that can only be answered through a path of self-discovery and quiet reflection.

There is no one true path that you must tread, yet there are a few practices that are, undeniably, a great place to start.

1.Make Your Bed

This may sound a little presumptuous or ill-advised to offer such simplistic advice. How can the tidying of covers and pillows help someone in their personal development journey? Yet, it is advice that I give to all those who ask of it.

I first stumbled across this idea whilst scouring the web for motivation. I was much younger and a little bit of a dreamer. I found inspiration in philosophy and accounts of people’s actions throughout history. In particular, I found greatness in the actions of those who had to endure extreme hardships.

So how did a speech from Naval Adm. William H. McRaven, with such simple advice, result in guiding me to find my purpose?

The answer; the information was simple and yet made so much sense.

-“Make your bed.”

The completion of a task, at the start of your day, gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment. It provokes you to go ahead and complete another task, followed by another and another until you have had an accrual of accomplished feats at the end of your day.

Already, you have had purpose in your day.

“Life is a struggle and the potential for failure is ever present, but those who live in fear of failure, or hardship, or embarrassment will never achieve their potential. Without pushing your limits, without occasionally sliding down the rope headfirst, without daring greatly, you will never know what is truly possible in your life.”

― William H. McRaven

2. Do not waste time ‘searching’

Don’t waste time looking for your purpose in life….simply do what makes you feel alive.

— E. Jean Carroll

This may sound counter-intuitive, but believe me, there is great wisdom behind the words.

If you attempt to discover your purpose by spending countless hours perusing texts online or speaking to loved ones, more often than not you will be bombarded with conflicting ideas. You will undoubtedly be told to play to your strengths, to choose the safe option or traditional route, to do whatever makes you the most money… you get the idea.

Passion in your work, in your everyday life, is a concept that is usually reserved for dreamers. Is passion the path to your purpose? Perhaps.

But how do you approach this?

Full steam ahead. Leave no stone unturned. The point of our lives is not to live comfortably and to never realise our true potential. Do you wish to remain stagnant? There are risks to be taken and opportunities to be snatched up.

Sure, not everything will lead to a successful ending, but that is exactly the point! Trial and error. You cannot grow in the comfort zone. Seek discomfort and rest assured that the challenges you face will shape your whole being.

Look not at failures, hardships or misfortune in a negative light, rather be gladdened that your character is being defined by these very occurrences.

As human beings, we are finite. We are malleable and highly adaptable. We are all strong and designed to endure. Remember this in your pursuits.

Waste not another moment. Be present and do what makes you feel alive!

3. Look to servitude

As we lose ourselves in the service of others we discover our own lives and our own happiness.

– Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Upon reading Massimo Pigliucci’s book, ‘How to Be a Stoic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Living’, I stumbled across his writings on the virtues. Two of them are important to note when speaking of servitude. They are Justice and Temperance.

Now, they may not be taken so literally but rather as an idea. Justice was described as to develop civic strengths that would be foundational to a healthy community life. This would incorporate team working, fairness and leadership. Humanity was the other that had been highlighted as a core virtue. Love and kindness are at the heart of humanity and the interpersonal skills that create friendships and bonds between us.

If such wisdom lay within the pages of a book on stoicism, that has lasted the test of time, surely the advice is golden.

Therefore, taking into consideration these virtues, might their incorporation in the form of servitude be beneficial to your character and the wider community as whole?

There exists very few who do not find joy in helping others in life. The gestures need not be of a magnitude so great that it leaves you in a place of lack. Every little piece of help will serve a greater purpose.

Through the acts of servitude and subsequently the practice of gratitude, I assure you that you will find meaning not just in yourself, but in the world.

4. Get a coach or a mentor

“A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you.” — Bob Proctor

No matter what you do in life, a helping hand goes a long way. The support of those around you is great and when you are aided in your journey, it makes things a little easier.

To have a mentor, means you have an abundance of experience at your disposal. Never underestimate the value of another person’s experience. A mentor or coach will keep you accountable and will offer such encouragement that you will be motivated to achieve what you desire.

Consult your local library as within it you will find books that offer timeless wisdom. For example, you can read Marcus Aurelius’ meditations and consider him to be a personal mentor through his works. You may even subject yourself to guidance from Jay Shetty by reading and implementing the teachings in his book as well.

Books offer us a whole new world of perspective and opportunity to live through the author. So, make the most of the advantages that the writings of others can provide.

Finally, keep in mind that every person you meet can teach you something. If you place yourself in a position to always be a learner, you will go far in your journey. Take time to be fully present and to live life in the moment. If you spend too much time worrying and stressing about your ‘purpose’, you will waste valuable time taking the appropriate actions necessary to live your purpose.

Mark Little

—

This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

***

You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:

Escape the Act Like a Man Box

What We Talk About When We Talk About Men

Why I Don’t Want to Talk About Race

The First Myth of the Patriarchy: The Acorn on the Pillow

—

Photo credit: Shutterstock