These are three giant pieces of our life pie. Over time, they can become blurry. Without having clear definitions of what we want each to look like, they can start to define us. Then we start to lose the power of our lives. Instead of designing the kind of life we want to live, life begins to designs us. And since life is chaotic and unpredictable, our lives become chaotic and unpredictable, causing sugar addictions and gray hair.
Everything starts with our definitions so let’s quickly examine each. In a shot glass, of course.
Work with good people and who have the balls to disrupt their industry. In that order.
Good people first, always. If you work with shady people, your work will be shady. And most likely, eventually you. No one’s perfect but intentions mean everything. Surround yourself with people with good intentions, fair people who humanize themselves and pull from their heart instead of just logic. They are giving to the world by doing something that is greater than them.
Then find people who want to color outside the lines, flip the script that has been written a million times because we’ve heard that story before. It doesn’t matter what industry you’re in, making a dent means disrupting it. This means throwing sh*t at the wall that doesn’t stick. This means trying things that don’t work. This means failure. Over and over, until you built something that is unique and different and worthy of attention. This takes courage. Courage is rare.
But before finding them, you have to be one yourself.
Do you believe you are good? Good isn’t just the size of your heart. It’s also the ability to practice self-awareness and compassion.
Are you disrupting your industry? If so, how? Are you disrupting for the sake of being different or are you doing something that speaks to you and lines up with your story and that happens to be different? One’s ego driven. One’s true disruption.
“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
If there was one sentence on how to love someone, this may be it. Most of us love by grabbing. Maybe not intentionally but it happens over time because as we get closer and care for and invest in someone, spaces get blurred. Like they were when we were younger and learned our first definitions of love. In most of our relationships, including with our parents, we weren’t loved. We were grabbed, owned. So we grow up and do our best to own people without knowing it because our mind has packaged it as love.
To love someone means to create a safe space. This doesn’t mean to love them from a distance. It means to accept them as they are, whole unique individuals, and don’t control, or change, or hang love over their heads. And yet, to love means to be vulnerable and naked. To also be close. To truly show yourself and express how you feel. And that’s why healthy love is so hard and scary. How do you give so much but let go at the same time?
We all do it differently and we all struggle with it. What’s important is that we are aware and by aware, I mean owning our own sh*t. That’s one of the greatest gifts when loving someone, to always look inward and own your own sh*t. How many people do you know that do that? Yes, it’s rare and that’s why relationships are so difficult. But that’s the first step in creating a safe space.
Hold people instead of grabbing them. With two hands, like you would sand.
Or you’re not building a castle. You’re creating a prison.
To love hard means to love with everything you’ve got but in a way the other feels free. And if they love you back the same way, you will hit high notes, and discover a new love that you didn’t know existed. Only read about.
We forget about this one often. Play doesn’t mean you’re ditching school. Being lazy. Not being productive. Play means you’re connecting to yourself. As life happens and we have to grow up, we lose this part of ourselves. Parts that we used to like. Without play in our lives, we will always be disconnected to self.
Yes, play means to seek adventure and do things that scare you in a good way and cause you to lose track of time because you’re so present and engaged. Play means getting outside, moving, sweating, and chasing adrenaline. But play isn’t just an activity. It’s also a mindset. An attitude. That’s the important piece of play that many overlook.
When you approach something with a play mindset, you are approaching it with curiosity and a sense of wonder instead of dread, judgment, and fear. The world becomes big. Limits dissolve. You believe more is possible. You are not blocked by your own insecurities. A play mindset produces energy to explore and discover. It switches you from a fixed to a growth mindset.
Approach both work and love with a play mindset. Take chances. Jump. Dive in. Get your hands dirty. Feel something. And do it with fun and a playful attitude. Everything doesn’t have to be so serious, so life or death. Play is what will expand you and help you hop your fear walls.
What is your definition of work, love, and play?
Do they need to be redefined?
This post was originally published here and is republished with permission from the author.
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