Riding Life’s Roller Coaster With Grace

I have had numerous ups and downs in my life.

I was born to a prosperous family in India. I was surrounded by loving relatives — grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. I had a best friend.

Then my parents moved to America. We ended up living in a 1 bedroom apartment in a working class neighborhood in Queens, New York.

I was a lonely child because I spoke with an accent and so other kids made fun of me. Plus all of my relatives were back in India except for an uncle and his wife in Montreal. I missed them.

However, I did very well in school and after graduating from high school I went to MIT for my BSEE. While it was a tough environment academically, I made friends and had a social life. Plus I enjoyed most of my classes and I liked living in Cambridge.

I became a Christian my senior year and chose to spend a summer volunteering with a Christian ministry before I started my first job.

Until I got cancer, this was probably the toughest thing I dealt with — I am an introvert and unfortunately the ministry expected me to act extroverted. I was constantly surrounded by people.

Yet, while it was tough, it was also immensely rewarding.

After graduation, I made inroads with my career. I went to grad school, got married, bought a house.

I was in a great place in many ways.

But then I got cancer. Because I was so young, the cancer was very aggressive and the doctors only gave me 6 months to live. We went through our savings thanks to medical bills. Yet I got through it and was in remission afterwards for many years.

We moved to Austin, and while I could no longer work as an engineer because I could no longer handle the hours, I started painting. I sold my work at a local gallery and enjoyed socializing with fellow artists.

I barely made enough to cover art supplies and groceries, but I was happy and my husband was very supportive. We weren’t able to save much but aside from that things seemed to be going well.

Unfortunately, 6 years ago our marriage fell apart. About 2 1/2 years ago I was diagnosed with metastatic brain cancer, and, again, only given 6 months to live. Yet, again, I have exceeded the expiration date the doctors gave me.

Throughout all of this, I have maintained my faith in Jesus Christ, and I have learned, over time, how to be content no matter what my circumstances.

In Philippians 4:11–13, St. Paul says:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.

And that last sentence is the key to being content no matter what you are going through — it is through our Lord that we derive the source of our strength, our hope, and our joy. We trust Him to supply our needs no matter what our circumstances for He is faithful and He loves us.

To paraphrase the Rolling Stones, we may not get everything we want, but we will get what we need if we trust our Father.

I am fighting stage IV cancer. If you can help with medical bills, I would really appreciate it. Or if you enjoy my writing and would like to buy me a cup of coffee, that’s great too. Maybe someday I can return the favor.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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