—
Over the Christmas holiday, my boyfriend and I purchased a snake for his dear daughter. The house is still echoing with excitement. Most of which occurs during feeding day. Watching a snake devouring prey after a run around a box still amazes me to this day. Since we got Sasha, we’ve also watched her shed her skin. Shedding of skin is pretty much like working through relationship issues.
Both require time, energy(effort) and patience. A snake can take up to a few weeks to be completely done shedding. Processing wounds, discord, and trauma require the same amount of energy that a snake uses to shed.
Shedding is also done one piece at a time. I marvel as Sasha’s skin would come off in chunks to reveal her shiny new skin underneath. In relationships, the dead skin (aka barriers to communication, intimacy, and vulnerability) must be shaken in order to experience authenticity within the context of a relationship. I’ve watched Sasha take her time with this and so must everyone no matter the type of relationship. If you’re in the place where you’re waiting, just like the saying goes: Great things take time.
Every action requires effort. If you’re in the process of building any of these that I’ve mentioned, give yourself grace. Breathe in the midst of working through the issues. Sasha is also very resilient when it comes to her effort. It takes a lot of work to shed your skin after all! You have to work on yourself and the relationship daily. This is non-negotiable! She is merely stalled when she needs a piece of skin to come off of her. She is not deterred by the process and how long it takes. Besides, EFFORT is The new Sexy y’all!
Lastly, we come to patience. Most of us would be so annoyed if it takes us a couple of seconds to work through something. In the digital age where everything is instantaneous, it is so very hard to be patient. Doing the work in a relationship requires patience in a variety of ways: with self, with your partner, and with the world that you both engage in. It can also be easy to be destination focused, wanting to get to the next best thing. I get it. Admittedly, I wanted the Honeymoon stage to last forever. Boy, was I devastated that it didn’t last forever. The real work began and I had to learn a new way of responding considering that everything wasn’t sunshine and rainbows 24-7 any longer. Shake it off. Do the work it takes to be your best self. The next time things get heated, breathe patience into your space. See what a deep breath can do for you before you react… you know: say that thing that’s been on your mind to say. Sasha uses patience every day while she grows simultaneously getting rid of the old. Be like Sasha!
—
What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
◊♦◊
Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.
Photo: Shutterstock