Society tells us to hide it, keep it inside, but in reality, this tends to result in larger outbursts down the road leading men to impulsive mistakes. Being able to turn anger into positive motivation is a crucial part of being a successful human being and a better man.
If your initial anger end in a positive outcome—for instance, someone calls you “fat”— and you get angry at them or yourself, or societies judgment, and hit the gym for the next year building confidence, good eating habits, changing your body, and both mental and physical health for the better, was that anger a positive emotion? Warranted yes, but positive? I don’t think it can be classified as positive but the result sure can be.
There are many things that we deem as manly or that men identify with. Examples I relate to are driving a truck, chopping wood, roughing it outdoors, and being able to fix things (thanks, YouTube.) I believe that handling our emotions should be essential to this list, not masking emotions but handling them appropriately. That doesn’t mean it will be easy or comfortable but then again, roughing it, learning to fix something, and chopping wood aren’t exactly walks in the park. But they are things I have learned and practiced and in time I hope that handling my emotions—specifically, anger—becomes as routine as driving a truck.
The part of this that is a struggle for me is being aware of the anger and meeting it head on. This is sheer habit (I’ve practiced it.) I have been conditioned to suppress this feeling, to deal with it on my own and that is not what I want to do anymore. I’m still searching for better ways to make this work, for people to help keep me accountable, and for safe places to have discussions about vulnerable topics.
The determination to better myself and to grow as a man actually lead me to this submission as a way to reach out to others who I’m certain are dealing with the same things.
Photo: Getty Images