Stuart Glascock was startled to discover the incredible prevalence of rape, and found a book that put it all into perspective for him.
Calling sexual assault an “affront to our basic decency and humanity,” President Obama recently created a White House task force for protecting students from sexual assault. He devoted an entire weekly radio address to discussing “the crime, the outrage, of sexual violence.” That’s a fine step, but rape won’t end until men stop raping women, until men stop objectifying women, until men stop viewing them as if they were prey to be hunted, beaten, and conquered. The primary tool for ending rape is getting men to stop committing it, but in the meantime, there are tools that can help change the dynamic.
In self-defense expert Maura Barclay’s new book, a thoughtful and considerate all-American woman takes on the gritty and not-so-nice subject – rape – and she strikes a chord with an unexpected audience: men.
Unbreakable Woman: Compassionate Self-Defense and Empowerment is an eye-opener for men. It resonates, in part, because the statistics are so relentlessly grim. The Centers for Disease Control reports that 1 out of 5 American women said they had been raped or had experienced an attempted rape at some point in her lifetime. (It’s actually worse because many sexual assaults go unreported.)
Indeed, the CDC study says 24 people per minute are raped, beaten or stalked by an intimate partner.
Two dozen people per minute? 1 out of 5 women? These stats aren’t only appalling – they signify an epidemic.
But Barclay doesn’t rage against males or label men “scum” or “monsters.” Far from it. She actually shows compassion for the broken, tormented souls who perpetuate the crimes.
Based largely on her own experience, Barclay instead offers practical advice on how to project confidence and not be an easy target for an attacker. Initially, her own fear of sexual assault led her to develop her physical strength. She got strong, but she still feared the walk from the campus gym to her dorm after dark. A former Junior Olympian gymnast, she trained hard — winning several bodybuilding contests. After college, she beat out thousands of candidates for a firefighter-EMT job. She delved into martial arts, earning high ranks and mastering self-defense skills.
In short, she’s petite, but badass – not unlike her writing style, which is confident, straightforward and precisely on point.
Barclay’s style is conversational. She writes: “As I got older, I realized that being safe was much less about being able to whip out a devastating reverse hook-kick and much more about two critical elements: awareness and visible willingness to stand up for yourself.”
Despite her own training in martial arts and vigorous physical education, she isn’t suggesting all women bulk up or become ninjas. After years of focusing on her own strength, Barclay now advocates non-physical self-defense skills. She implores readers to defend themselves with their bodies if needed. However, she believes brute strength isn’t as critical for women and girls as innate skills like intuition, assertiveness, boundary-setting and awareness.
Unbreakable Woman also deconstructs the victimization process, looks at common criminal profiles, and explores habits and attitudes that put women at risk.
Clearly, crime statistics suggest that violence against women is significantly more common that most people realize. Barclay’s Unbreakable Woman – with its sound advice, safety tools and analysis the dynamics of personal power between strangers — offers a valuable starting point for women and men.
Barclay says her book appeals to men who love women. She may be right. Unbreakable Woman is enlightening for men because it speaks to how the threat of violent sexual assault affects women – a sad fact of life for women that may be completely off men’s radar. Men can learn something from the 203-page handbook – then pass it along to their wives, daughters, sisters, and girlfriends.
Reading it could be a giant step toward ending the cycle of fear that rapists feed off of.
In his weekly radio address, President Obama said “We’ve especially got to teach young men to show women the respect they deserve. I want every young man in America to know that real men don’t hurt women.” That’s the key — changing how men view women and getting men to stop raping women. Meanwhile, books like these can empower individual women and (hopefully) help put the brakes on the epidemic.
Obama is responsible for the http://www.fatherhood.gov site, yet curiously there is not one for mothers. If there was he would have been denounced as a misogynist. He is just pandering to female voters and perpetuating the lie that men are always the problem.
@ Jack: Ah yes, President Obama’s drone policy. Hmm. A bit off topic, but if you are interested in my views of hunter/killer drones, please read my review of Medea Benjamin’s book Drone Warfare: Killing by Remote Control. Check it out YES! Magazine here: http://www.yesmagazine.org/issues/what-would-nature-do/drone-warfare-killing-by-remote-control
“Show women the respect they deserve,” eh?
How about the women of Afghanistan, Yemen and elsewhere that grinning narcissist slaughters with predator drones? Also their children as well as, of course, any male between 18 and 40, who are then declared enemy combatants. Why accept the endorsement of a mass murderer, whatever his position? Choose a man like Chris Hedges or Cornel West, they are on your side.