My youngest son went through some physical challenges in his late teens that caused him to see he was not invincible. Now when you’re a strapping six foot four lad in the prime of your life, you’re certainly not expecting to have to deal with that level of vulnerability so early on.
Those challenges caused him to have to stop and rest frequently and catch his breath whenever he exerted himself. They caused him to have palpitations and chest pain if he stood up too quickly. He would actively have to think about what activity he was about to engage in if he wanted to even just feel okay.
He had to deal with the fear this brought up in him and wondered if this condition was going to continue for the rest of his life or if it was something he would recover fully from, (it was.) He had to take stock of his choices and see how not taking care of his body immediately worsened his condition.
He’d go into moods and snap – understandably so; to hide his feelings of vulnerability. He resented having to be dependent on mine and his father’s support. He saw himself as an independent man able to do what he wanted, when he wanted, and so having to look to his parents to physically support him; didn’t go down well at all.
It was very tough for him, for he had no base to rest his angst upon. He’s wasn’t the introspective type back then. Yet these challenges were asking him for a deeper seeing in order to handle them with some equanimity.
Watching him struggle with trying to find meaning in what was happening when he rejected that kind of deep seeing; was both tough and a beautiful lesson. I saw the mirror of his impatient reactions to stress, reflecting my own. I saw how I’d taught him in the past to deal with stressful situations. I got to observe how our most challenging experiences are so interrelated and teach beautifully universal lessons.
We’re all confronted at different times in our lives with these types of intense challenges that cause us to review who we are and what we think we know. We can all face big shifts and intense experiences that ask us to dig deeper and be more honest with ourselves. It’s at these times that what we think we know about ourselves, gets put under the microscope.
We may find that our old coping mechanisms and strategies no longer work. We become impatient with ourselves, our loved ones and with life. We might wonder what on earth we have to do to come through these challenges with our heads held high.
Yet when we embrace the challenge – whatever it is, and own our vulnerability, we do make it through. We grow and blossom. We deepen in awareness and develop greater compassion for ourselves and others. And these are always beautiful lessons for us to learn.
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Photo by: Kirsten 24K on Unsplash
