After a year and a month, I found myself staring at Animal and thinking, “Looks like someone I know.” I then looked in the mirror and realised why. I had begun to morph into my own mascot. A major sign for me to do away with the facial hair.
That and I felt like my skin needs some vitamin D. So here are my top ten.
Pros And Cons To Having A Beard
PROS | CONS |
At the five O’clock shadow stage, you come off lookin’ rugged and tough | At the five O’clock shadow stage, you itch like a flea-bitten dog |
As the heat sets in, you find that it keeps away flies and mosquitoes | That’s because they get swallowed up by the beard, never to be heard of again |
Whenever you eat, you collect food to save for an emergency | This attracts all sorts of wildlife to your beard including a herd of buffalo |
When you go swimming, your face remains cooler for longer due to the wetness of the beard | When it dries out and you’re in tropical Africa you tend to pass out from heatstroke |
It’s a great hit with the guys and a conversation starter | Not such a great hit with the ladies and a conversation killer as the herd of buffalo now calling your beard ‘home’ ward them off |
When it’s long enough, every time you stroke it you look like a wise man | Sometimes other people feel inclined to stroke it to feel like a wise man |
You can get your beard braided | It fuckin’ hurts to unbraid it |
You can tie it up to control it a bit better | You can’t control a herd of buffalo |
It scares little kids and old folk | Moo-ha-ha |
Depending on your hairstyle and location, you are called ‘Jesus’ and gather a following | Depending on your hairstyle and location, you are called ‘Jesus’ and gather a following |
Originally posted on The Nomadic Diaries.
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Photos courtesy of the author.